Post # 1
Ok, so one of my good friends and Fiance don’t get along. They never have and I don’t think they ever will… My friend is willing to call a truce, but my Fiance holds grudges and he doesn’t like being around her because she brings out the “worse” in him.
Well, I was in the middle of facebooking her the other night telling her how I wish she could be there to watch me get married but I can’t invite her- when I burst into tears.
My Fiance couldn’t stand watching me cry so he told me if it was really that important to me then I can invite her, and hopefully she just wont come…I honestly would have no issues if she couldn’t come- it was just the “Not inviting” her part that made me think I would loose our friendship.
So immediately after I talked to my Fiance I sent out a Save the Date. And knowing my fiance, I probably should have waited for a couple of days before sending it out because for the past few days he has been sulking around the house and I can tell he’s really upset about this.
I spoke to him about it yesterday and he really thinks that she would put a damper on our wedding day. And he doesn’t want her there because it’s supposed to be the happiest day of our lives, and now he can’t help but not be excited about the actual day.
I’m so frustrated because I already sent the Save the Dates because he told me I could, but now I can tell that it really worries him that she will come. And I can’t stand him being so upset… I want things to go back to normal.
What do I do now? Anyone have some advise?
Post # 3
I think that even if he’s upset now, he’ll probably get over it and/or forget about it soon. Also, I don’t think that either you or he should worry about your friend’s presence negatively affecting him at the wedding. If you have more than a couple of dozen guests, what are the odds he’ll have to even acknowledge/see/talk to her at all?
I hope this helps – It’s just my first impression and the best advice I can give without knowing more about the nature of their mutual antipathy.
Post # 4
Why does he dislike her so much… is it just that they don’t get along, or did something happen at some point?
Post # 5
Oh – and if it makes a difference, I can relate a bit to what your fiancé is feeling. My mother is inviting one of her best friends to our wedding – and my fiancé and I can’t stand this friend. But we’re going along to get along, here! Our plan is just to avoid her and not talk to her on our wedding day. It’s not as if we’re going to run out of people to talk to and things to do, right?
Post # 6
Thanks! My friend is very loud and sometimes obnoxious… She can be a little rude and they just don’t see eye to eye on anything.
So from the beginning of my Fiance and mine’s relationship he told me that he doesn’t care how much time I spend with her, but he would just prefer not to be around her anymore. He was always good about encouraging me to go hang out with her and spend time with her while we were dating-but he just didn’t want to be around her.
But because she is so loud and obnoxious… I do think it would be pretty hard not to notice her.
Post # 7
Maybe if she knows that she is kind of loud and obnoxious, she can tone it down a bit at the wedding? I mean, she does know that your FI has a problem with her being obnoxious and loud so maybe she can tone it down to not cause a scene at your wedding.
Post # 8
I am sorry you are having to go through this, but I think your FI needs to get over himself. As he stated this day is supposed to be “the happiest day of our lives”. If he truly beleives that, he wouldn’t be upset by you inviting your friend. He gets to invite his friends, so you inviting yours shouldn’t even be an issue. He doesn’t even have to interact with her at the wedding, if he doesn’t want to.
Post # 9
Just ask him to be cordial if he sees her. Just say hello and move on. He can move to the other side of the table/to a different table/to the bathroom if he needs to. She can be there and he can still have a good time.
Post # 10
This is a duplicate thread so I’m going to close it. If you want to comment, please go here!