Fiance wants me to move to his house – NOT giving up my babies!!!

posted 3 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

Um. It’s a package deal. Pay for his allegra if he needs it. Some of the over the counter daily allergy medications are really inexpensive. (Good friend of mine opted for this when he had a roommate with a cat move in. It worked great! )

ETA: I consider pets to be a lifetime obligation that you chose to take on. Like adopting a child. You can’t just give them back so you have to come to a compromise. 

Post # 4
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

I would never give up my fur-babies. Is there any way to keep them to a cat room? Or a cat floor? Some place that is vacuumed religiously and allows both of you to have what you want?

My sister is allergic to dogs but the ‘dog floor’ has helped immensely. We scrub the floor with a Dyson Animal before she comes even though she never goes on that floor. That way there is no hair on the furniture, or in the sheets, or our clothes and all she has to do is take a Claritin.

Post # 5
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wouldnt give up my babies:/ I dont know much about allergies but hes gonna have to deal with it….

Post # 6
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@beeintraining:  Keeping cats cooped up is much more cruel than giving them away.

@maxfluffy:  Are they indoor, or outdoor cats?

Post # 7
Member
869 posts
Busy bee

@maxfluffy:  Your cats are too cute! I have no advice on this one as my judgement is too clouded on my love for cats:) 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1050 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My DH knew going into the relationship that my animals and I were a package deal. There is no way the relationship would have progressed had he not understood that they were here first lol. He also has a lot of allergies and after taking allergy shots for a few years is able to manage them with over the counter meds. I definitely would not move in with your partner if he were unwilling to accept that you and your pets come together.

Post # 9
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

Get them used to bathing. When I got my cat the guy I was dating at the time was allergic so I made sure to get her used to taking baths, it takes a little extra care with older cats though. My ex rarely had allergic reactions around her and only took allergy meds a few times (we lived together in a place 1/3 that size).

Post # 10
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@maxfluffy:  I almost had to give up my dog and cat. I cried for weeks about it. Fortunately, I was able to bring my puppy with me. He is my child.

The cat was given to someone by my ex without my permission. I’m still sad about it, but am thankful I got my dog.

Post # 11
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

Nope nope nope. My SO is allergic to my dog. Too bad. He stays with me for life. He doesn’t have to pet your cats, and just keep your cats away from the bedroom so they don’t snuggle up in the covers or pillows.

Post # 13
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

I have one dog and I am getting a second this weekend. My SO knew that he could not separate me from my dog for more then the length of a weekend.  He also knows that I will choose the dogs over him any day.

But have you thought about what you going to do when you get married? Are you going to get rid of the cats? Is he willing to take medicine everyday? 

Post # 14
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

My FI was allergic to cats too, but we got our fur babies anyway with the intention of being super careful about cleaning the carpets, couches etc. After about a month his allergies just went away. We think the exposure must have helped.

Post # 15
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I know this might sound weird but I’m allergic to *other peoples’* pets (itchy, watery eyes, sneezing, no fun).  HOWEVER, I love pets, and I always seem to be able to get used to my own for some reason.  When I lived with my parents, I was usually fine with my dog and cat there. Now that I’m moved out and the FI and myself have gotten 2 kitties of our own, they don’t even bother me. but my parents’ pets (the ones I was fine with before!) kill me now if I don’t take a pill before visiting!

It might seem crazy, but maybe your FI will be able to *get used* to your furbabies like I seem to get used to my own pets? Also, bathing our cats when my allergies flare up usually fixes me up again, but they’re nice about it since we’ve bathed them since they were tiny. Your babies might not be so welcoming to baths 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
980 posts
Busy bee

@maxfluffy:  I would never give mine up either. You are not alone. My SO knows that I would choose my pets over him too haha. I’m allergic to cats, but I deal with it! And my cat sleeps on my pillows. My friends boyfriend is hyper allergic too, but his has settled down after a while and he now loves her cats too. I think after a bit of exposure it can calm down.

Your FI can take antihistamine and be proactive in cleaning and washing his hands, I’m sure. When I move in with my boyfriend (eventually) I will be bringing my cat and for my SO, who has never had any pets other than a mouse, it will be a big culture shock. He is slightly allergic too, but there are ways of overcoming it that don’t involve giving your babies away.

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