Post # 1
My fiance is kind of the type to get cash in his pocket and burn it right away. He just got a second job as a bartender and the cash he’s making is being spent rather than saved. He also just got a bonus at his regular job and instead of saving it, he wants to buy a big item that we DON’T need. I’m seeing this leading to our first big fight.
I have never historically been a money-pincher. EVER. I like to spend, too. However, since becoming pregnant my spending has decreased DRAMATICALLY. I’m not getting paid for maternity leave, plus we’re planning our wedding in September, which we’re paying for 1/3 of….and so far I’ve paid for everything regarding our wedding up to now (deposits, etc).
Our roommate recently moved out to leave us room for our new baby. Now we have a family room in our basement with a small, old TV. Fiance wants to buy a big flatscreen and make it his “man cave”. However, the CURRENT TV in our regular living room is not even paid off yet!!! There is still $175 on the credit card from his purchase of THAT TV! Grrrrr…
Not to mention we have a payment due to our DJ in the next month, a baby coming any day, two piece of crap cars…. ugh. We do NOT need a TV for his “man cave” but I feel bad saying that because he’s ‘earned’ the money at his jobs…he claims he just wants to buy ONE thing with his bonus as a gift to himself/a treat. So I feel bad saying no!
Post # 3
tell him as soon as the other TV is paid off he can look into getting a TV. Do your research and look on websites for a great deal. Woot.com has tvs for sale at least once a week, 1080P 42″ flatscreen was just for sale this week for only $489. I think your Fiance should be able to spend his money as long as you are on budget for the wedding, but I do not think you should buy more tv’s when one is not paid off.
Post # 4
Wow. If it were my FI/husband, I would tell him that additional electronics can only be bought once you have zero credit card debt. We only buy things we can pay for in full at the moment of purchase, period. Have to pay it off? Not getting it.
Post # 5
On black friday, my husband saw a great deal on a 55″ LED Samsung… his drool over “let’s go to best buy and just drool” TV. Honestly, I didn’t see the need for it… we had a 46″ LCD HD TV… but, we had the money and I knew it would make him super happy. So I let him get “us” the TV. The only reason I said yes, is because we had the money and didn’t “need” it for something else.
There is no reason to finance a TV… especially on your CC. If you are still paying off a TV there is no way in heck I would say yes and he needs a financial lesson in responsibility. Kids are not cheap… it’s time to learn how to manage those finances and make some sacrifices. And he should most def. be paying towards the baby stuff and wedding… that’s a joint venture.
Post # 6
If it was me, I’d calmly explain the financial situation. It’s possible he isn’t aware exactly how bad things are, especially if you manage the money. Debt is NOT a good way to welcome a new family member into the world, OR start a marriage.
And if he doesn’t like that, well, he can shove it up his “man cave”!
Post # 7
Tell him that he is going to be a husband and father and to stop being so selfish. And I would go over your wedding budget and explain to him which part he is responsible for paying for. And also the upcming expenses for a baby.
Post # 8
Do you guys have completely combined finances or do you keep money separate?
If it’s combined then I say heck yea he can’t buy that TV. Explain to him why! On the other hand I can understand him wanting to treat himself to something for a job well done. Maybe something smaller?
If it’s not combined then I say it’s his money to spend, as irresponsible as it is. But hey if you keep it separate it’s his money.
Post # 9
@Gerbera: I’m with you here.
OP – based on how you worded things in the original post – it sounds like you and your Fiance have not completely combined your finances. If that is the case – than no matter how irresponsible it may seem – you really don’t have a say in how he spends “his” money.
Post # 10
@Gerbera: We are actually considering a joint account and originally decided we’d do this before the baby comes. He’s been kind of putting it off (although it was his idea in the first place) and I think this is a big reason why…he knows I’ll have more “say” in what he spends his money on.
However, we do split everything — mortgage payment, all bills, etc. So, I guess depending what your definition of “combined finances” means, we are as combined as can be without actually having a joint account yet.
I do want to add that he IS mostly responsible with his money most of the time (well, honestly because we barely ever have it), it’s just when he gets a big “chunk” that he wants to blow it. I really want to get our credit card debt down and that’s been my main priority.
Post # 11
Try craigslist free section, and if you know someone with a van or a truck you may be able to snag 1 of those early HDtv’s you know the enormous boxy kind. It will be an upgrade from what you have now, but FREE! You need to have a big discussing about budgeting and priorities, also now is a perfect time to set up a joint account and sit down with a financial adviser (it’s on our todo list this weekend, TD is open 7 days a week.) Also I agree that he deserves a treat, you offer him a lollypop or a cookie.
Post # 12
My husband and I used to have this arguement over a new phone. He has a perfectly good phone that does everything he needs it to, but he HAS to have the upgrade. I think he didn’t get it for so long b/c he knew I’d be upset (it’s very weird for me to not want him to buy things, so he knew this one was a big deal), and then when I got pregnant he finally realized he was being dumb and we need to save money.
I feel for you!
Post # 13
New kid trumps new TV. You guys need to go see a financial adviser as msgraphics suggested, set up that joint account, and get all your ducks in a row. Hopefully that will help him realize that a new TV can wait.
Post # 14
It seems to me like there are 3 popular ways couples deal with the money situation.
1) Combined EVERYTHING
2) One joint account for 50/50 bills paying but then separate spending accounts
3) Separate accounts but split bills 50/50.
So that is kind of what I was referring to bc I didn’t know where you guys fall.
Again, I am actually totally with you on this one. But I feel since your free non bill money IS separate it’s his money to spend as he wish.
Like the other ladies mentioned maybe now is the perfect time to set up that joint account.