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I got it from mine in a few weeks before the wedding. While it was clear he wanted to be married he just kept saying a wedding was just too much effort/money (he ended up having a greeeeeeeeeeat time).
I got very upset one day and he did try to be better after that but I'd try to talk to him about it now before you get very upset. I was just letting it go for awhile because I sort of agreed with him that it was a lot of work/money and people get crazy over it. But then it was like ok we've decided to have a wedding, it's going to happen, so buck up and get over it.
My FI is the exact opposite of that. At least, right now he is. All he talks about is how we need to get going on registering for things and how he is really looking forward to doing that. And earlier, he kept bugging me about getting all the vendors in place and he was the first person to ask his side of the wedding party to be in the wedding. And he was the one that wanted a big wedding, if it were up to me, I would be eloping or something like that and putting the money towards a house. Oh well.
Yes!! Im all excited and constantly looking on the internet, buying bridal magazines and when I really see something I like or think is pretty and try to show him, hes like okay, yeah thats fine... And I'll question him about not really getting into, he reminds me that Its all up to me, to him its my day....he will love it no matter what... A part of me is glad I dont have a very opinionated FI (like my friends FI) because my friend always has to double check with him to see if he likes it first... I just wish sometimes he would pay a little more attention to the wedding plans.. I guess its just a man thing!!! He actually told me to lay out his Tux on the bed on our wedding day and tell him the place and time to be there !!!! LOL
Check out www.theplunge.com for a mans view on weddings, engagements, etc....... it really gave me some insight as to what my man is thinking. Get into his brain a bit.
Um, I totally am going to get that! No doubt in my mind. He hates thinking about the whole process, about how much work it's going to be and how much he's overwhelmed by the process. He's going to be a major drag and while I would be totally okay with going ot the courthouse, he's refusing to do that, saying that I would be bummed out later on. Maybe, but I don't want to stress him out! I can't have it both ways!
the wedding is for my fi, he wants it, not me. but that doesn't mean he wants to plan it all. i'm finding that it's easier to talk to him about things he's interested in, which i learned quickly was not flowers! i was fine with that, i had my mom come with me and called all my girlfriends right after to tell them about it. but there's a million things to do for the wedding, chances are he'll be into one of those things.
Thanks gals. Good to know I'm not alone.
@bvig: I like the way you put it, "ok we've decided to have a wedding, it's going to happen, so buck up and get over it" TOTALLY!
@KMS: that's totally kind of your bf to know that the courthouse thing would bug you later on down the road...what a sweetie!
@offbeatbride: theplunge is going to be some very entertaining reading material...thanks!
If it's just the wedding that he's not looking forward to, I wouldn't put much thought into it. I was the same way that he was. I was not looking forward to the wedding, but I was looking forward to the marriage. To be honest, I wouldn't have minded having a barbecue, wearing a dress I bought from Wal-Mart, and just going to the courthouse. I still kind of wish we had done that.
As the day got closer though, it was easier to be excited. Ask him if there is anything about the wedding that is extremely important to him, such as music or food and just let him be in charge of that. I didn't get really excited until we found the location. I knew that I wanted an outdoor wedding and when I found the perfect location, I was literally in shock for a while.
Yup!!! he is a total buzzkill. I now start all my convos with "So I know you hate all of this wedding nonsense but I really need you to do..." SUCKS!!! I don't want him to be like you ladies but still he's a total "Debbie Downer"...with phrases such as......."How in the hell are we paying for all of this"...."We could pay off a lot of stuff with that money"...GRRRR!!! so aggravating
My FI totally doesn't get it. I actually just wrote about this last night on my blog (www.fifteenminuteplan.wordpress.com). Basically, you just need to tell him that it doesn't have to be rational-- you want what you want and he should let you have it because he loves you.
Actually, in the beginning, and even now, I kept saying how excited i was about the wedding and how I couldn't wait, and he wasn't as enthusiastic about it was i was, so I asked him, aren't you excited about the wedding?? and then he said no...cuz it was still so far away..i was soooo hurt by that and frustrated!! but now, it's completely different..he's so involved that i couldn't even believe he said that in the beginning...hope things get better!!
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I know my husband-to-be is really looking forward to the marriage/life together. But he's not at all excited about the wedding. I don't expect him to be jumping with joy about it, but it's a bit of a buzz kill! We're not showy people in the least, and he's pretty introverted, actually, but it's sort of bumming me out when I'm talking about it and he's like "why don't we just have a barbeque" or makes a face when I talk about flowers or something. He thinks the wedding industry is a horrible beast, and I'm with him on a lot of points points, but like, no babe, I'm not going to wear that striped dress I got at Target two years ago as my wedding gown...
I don't know, is anyone else getting a buzz kill from their fiance??