Weddingbee boards

My FH keeps complaing about how much we spent on the rings, engagement and wedding. My engagement ring cost $8000 and my wedding band will cost $2200. I know that it is a lot of money but I feel that as it took 8 years for him to propose I kind of diserved it. His band would have cost $800 but our jewler had a deal of buy one band and get the second half price. ever since we ordered the bands he keeps going on about how he doesn't know anyone else who had to spend 10K on rings. It is sort of tainting the whole experience.

Also I have heard that the engagement ring should generally be 3 months wage which in his case would be 3 times that.

Have I been to spoilt or is this reasonable?

The 3-month salary "rule" is basically an arbitrary thing devised by the diamond industry to taunt people into spending more money than they necessarily should, and it's predominantly aimed at those making middle-class incomes. Once you get into higher incomes, it somewhat breaks down. Had my fiance used that "rule", my ring would cost 3x as much as it does, and that would have been *ridiculous*. Basically, what my fiance did was buy a ring that he could afford, but that made him a little uncomfortable to buy, with the logic of "He'd only have to do this once, so he might as well splurge." Personally, I think the cost of your ring is exorbitant. It's also near the cost of my ring, which I also find exorbitant. But if it's what we could afford, then awesome for us both :)

As for your fiance's behavior - he's complaining at the wrong time. If he genuinely objected to spending that much money, he should have spoken up BEFORE the rings were purchased. Talking about it now does neither of you any favors. It's hurtful to you and spiteful of him, and it's going to end up driving a wedge between you if he doesn't let it go.

The girls here all gave great advice - and I think the underlying thing you can take away from it is that it's time to actually talk to hime about this. Why is it that now he's worried? I've done this with other purchases - spent more than I should have and worried about it later. It happens. But the important thing is to talk about it now to figure out what you two can do to make him feel more comfortable. And definitely talk to him about the wedding - cause they're expensive, too!

i must have been too confusing. It wasnt 9 months pay it was only a months pay.  as for talking about it before he was happy to spend that much on the engagement ring we had spent years talking about it (part of why it took so long for him to propose as he was saving) The problem arrose with the bands 'cause he didnt realise how much they cost (mine needed to go with the engagement ring so that made it dearer.) we agreed on spending $2000 on the rings but mine ended up costing $500 more this is where the problem started. He recently got a promotion and his job is very secure.