- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
This is my first time posting, even though Ive come on this site for quite some time for wedding ideas. I just feel so lost as to where to turn to now that this situation has arised.
My fiancee and I met over a year and a half ago, and have been long distant for nine of those months. Hes in the marines and has been stationed literally across the country from me. He is the most amazing, kind, generous, funny, caring, loving man that I have ever been with. We click on so many different levels, and this is the first time that I have ever imagined spending the rest of my life with someone, and loving someone as intensely, and deeply as I do.
That being said, long distance relationships are not a walk in the park, by any strech of the imagination. We fight, argue, get jealous over little things, have miscommunications etc..However, in the entire time we’ve been together, we’ve never gone a day without talking, and always manage to talk things out and work out our problems without any of the usual dramatics that has occured in my past relationships.
Problem 1: He is being deployed for Afghanistan for seven months this coming September. Like I mentioned before, we have never gone a day without talking before, so not talking to him, and not knowing whether or not he is safe, is going to drive me insane! We talk, text,call,skype all the time to make our ldr easier, and it does give me a sense of security and helps me feel connected to him. Not having that, plus worrying about his safety scares me.
Problem 2: After his deployment, he has recieved a HUGE job offer that could really help his career from the marines to be stationed in a different country for three years. The catch is- he has to go alone. He is seriously considering this offer, and thinking of leaving when he comes back from Afghanistan. If the idea of him being away for seven months is so difficult, i have no idea how to even begain to deal with being a ldr for the next three and a half years. We were planning on getting married next summer, once I graduated college and I was going to relocate to his state, but now that ideas been put on hold.
He says he wants to marry me, and I’m the only women that he sees himself having a future with all the time, but he also told me that if he doesnt accept this offer, it is something that he will regret. On the other hand, he also says that if he does take this job offer, he will regret not being with me, and potentially losing me because of the diffculty of maintaing a three year long ldr.
I just am at a loss of what to do. As much as I love him, and want to be with him, a three year ldr seems like absolute torture. I want him to be happy, and accomplish his goals, but at the expense of our relationship and personal happiness? I feel torn as to what to do, I’ve thought of calling off the engagement, but I dont want to be hasty with anything. its breaking my heart to think of him leaving.