(Closed) Fiance/Photographer Drama

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think if he’s offering the photography services and all the photos for free paying his travel and  accomodations (I’m assuming he’s from out of town?) is not unusual. I do think he should have mentioned it earlier though because last minute expenses aren’t ideal for any bride.

Good luck! I hope he takes fabulous pictures of your day.

Post # 4
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@KAT3:  I think it is dirty how he brought this on you a week before your wedding. I would explain to him that you will pay his gas and hotel (since you were going to anyways), but that you want to see gas receipts to reimberse him. If he has to drive 8 hrs that is about 3 tanks of gas roundtrip. My Fiance said he would tell the guy he is no longer needed and try to rehire your first choice. Good luck with your decision. 

Post # 5
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That is a crazy estimation on gas, in my car (24 mpg) 16 hours of regular highway driving would involve about 2 tanks of gas, probably less.

I think paying for gas and accomodations is perfectly fair.  Everything he needs while there is crazy, would he not eat food if he wasn’t at your wedding?  No one asks for that, for any reason.

Can your FH talk to his best friend about this, or would he not be helpful?

Post # 6
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Cecilia37:  I agree that the gas estimation is nuts. My Jeep gets 18 mpg, less than a tank and a half would get my 8 hrs of driving. 

Post # 7
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with PP. It’s not unusual to pay for the extra expenses if the services itself are free. Some of the people trying to break into destination weddings, for example, will do all the photos for free but the couple pays for lodging and travel expenses. However, it is NOT okay to spring these costs on you with such little notice. This should have been hashed out at the beginning when he was “hired”. I don’t know about you, but I know the week of my wedding, I would not have had the extra funds to cover all these additional expenses for him.

At this point, since you are a week out from the wedding, I feel terrible for you! I doubt you will be able to get another good photographer at this point (and you are already over budget). I would meet him halfway, if you can, and only pay for hotel accomodations (probably two nights’ worth – so he is ready to go Saturday morning versus “on his way”) and his gas. I would calculate average gas cost based on Google Maps (not his estimate of how long/far it is). For example, when companies reimburse employees for travel, it’s “we will pay you $.xx/mile traveled.” There’s no reason for him to take the scenic route versus the most efficient route.

Considering he is also his BFF’s dad, I would be fairly polite, though professional, about the whole thing, since he’s working for you in a professional capacity (versus “this is my gift to you”).

Post # 8
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

What a crappy situation.

I would hire my original choice if possible.


Post # 9
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Maybe ask for the gas receipts and reimburse the exact amount?  Sucks he’s springing it on you last minute.

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