Fiance's a Groomsman

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should poster attend?
    Yes : (36 votes)
    63 %
    No : (21 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2519 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    blondie55:  I would say as long as your Fi is 100% ok with it, feel free to skip! But keep in mind dinner is only an hour and you can have the whole night with him after. If you Fi is close enough to the groom to be in the wedding it might be nice if you come as it is one of his good friends. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    blondie55:  Given that your FI is in the cousin’s wedding, I would, because he is obviously close to the GM.

    Post # 4
    Member
    710 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I agree and him being in the wedding means you are more likely to be noticed missing. But that’s what I would do.

    It is fully up to you, it’s great your SO is so good about it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6048 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I would go.   This is his family and he’s in the wedding.  These are the people that your future will be tied to, why not go and get to know some of them on your own?  He’ll still be there for dancing. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    And this is why bridal party tables suck!

    I’d say skip it if you have an already existing fantastic relationship with your FI’s family. That way he’ll say “she had to work” and nobody will bat an eyelash. If you don’t then I think HisIrishPrincess: said it best…go spend time w his fam!

    Post # 8
    Member
    710 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    blondie55:  exactly right and I’m sure nobody would get offended if you didn’t go. Your FI omly has to say you had to work if anyone asks so end of story. I also didn’t vote because I’m not sure what I’d do.

    Post # 9
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

    I think to should go with him. Granted, you won’t be with him a good portion of the night.  But your absence is definitely going to be noticed.  I agree with the other bee who said bridal party tables suck. Cuz they do…big time. I did do bridal party tables for my upcoming wedding but I also sat the wives, girlfriends, fiancé, and boyfriends with them.

    Post # 11
    Member
    72 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - The Admiral Kidd Club

    I know what you mean about head tables. My BF was a groomsman back in June and it was wonderful that they sat me with him and a few other couples we knew, of which half of one pair also consisted of another groomsman. The bride and groom had their own table to themself. I would have your FI ask his cousin…that would help with your pros vs. cons list. I personally love weddings in general and love to be inspired about what I like or don’t like when it’s time for my own wedding.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3084 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    blondie55:  I would go. it’s his family. I think you really need to show fAce. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t think it’s necessary for you to go. 

    In my opinion, it’s a little silly to skip work and lose much needed money just so that a few people know you attended their event, even if those people are your fiancée’s family. I mean, you have a life you have to attend to. Besides, he’s the one in the wedding, not you. 

    I think a nice, sincere note saying ‘congratulations’ is good enough. 

    However, if your fiancee’s family and cousin are the type to take offense to this and you think not going could a have a negative impact on your relationship and you’d rather avoid that, attending the wedding might be the thing to do. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I definitely would! It’s his cousin. I’m a grad student and understand the money situation, but family weddings are important to attend, regardless if you even know them or not. It’s just important to be there and be part of the family. DH has been a groomsmen in several weddings where I don’t see him for the day but that’d never stop me from attending. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    943 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Why don’t you have your FI ask if there will be a head table, or if you will be seated together?

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