Post # 1
Fiance’s family was over today for lunch. His Aunt asked in a joking way if she was invited. Of course she was. She asked who all we were inviting, so my fiance explained that we have decided to do a 21 and up wedding (easier to explain no children and the lack of space on the guestlist for cousins that he isn’t close with which are the ones under 21).
Holy fuck. All this happened while his 16 year-old cousin was standing right next to me. I started getting flustered and explained that we originally wanted a 50 person guestlist, but when he was done with his portion which was mostly family, we were at 49 people. If we were to include everyone in his family, I wouldn’t have any of my friends or family at the wedding my FATHER was paying for.
She started saying the cousin was her DD (she doesn’t even drink) and some more things I intentionally just blocked out before I had an anxiety attack.
I wouldn’t mind having the 16 year-olds there, but we can’t afford it. I also don’t want to feel the guilt I feel right now that we can’t invite everyone. I mean, I am only having three of my family members there! I don’t want my entire wedding to be one big panic attack because I don’t know anyone.
Not really looking for advice. Just wanted to vent.
Post # 3
Ugh, I’m sorry. This happened to me this past weekend, and it was like, guilt guilt guilt…oh, I’m not trying to pressure you, but…guilt guilt guilt. Sigh. People just don’t get it.
Post # 4
So sorry that this happened to you 🙁 You shouldn’t have to explain your guestlist to anyone.
Post # 5
That really is a bummer. People who respect your choice on the guest list. Obviously your intentions are not to hurt anyone- some people are so wrapped up in themselves they cant see that other peoples actions arent always about them!
Post # 6
Yikes, how awkward for you. Stick to your guns. If the lady needs a DD, the cousin can swing by and pick her up when she is ready to go home, or she can call a damn cab. The guilt tripping is really too much for me, mostly because I’m going through it myself right now and I just want to scream and bury my head in the sand somewhere.
Post # 7
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: that does suck and I feel for you 🙁 I had to go to a party recently for one of FI’s young cousins, and both of his uncles, their wives (who are invited) and their children (not invited) kept asking about the wedding. It was slightly awkward talking about it knowing that their young teens wouldn’t be there.