Post # 1
Well Bees, long story short..
– my fiance and I have been together 4 years and have been planning our wedding for the past year
– we are getting married this summer on my parent’s anniversary since my dad passed away last year and it would have been their 40th anniversary this year
My issue…. My fiance’s best man recently got engaged, has been dating her for only 10 months, and wants to get married 5 days before us. I don’t know if I’m overreacting but I feel slightly like it might take away from our wedding? I know I shouldn’t be anything but happy for them but I’m sort of bummed. They were originally going to have it next summer but they changed their minds. Any advice?
Post # 3
@javamonkey: what made them changed their minds? Is she pregnant?
Post # 4
I feel u. There will be no less than three weddings before ours this year that were shorter engagements. Ppl just have to compete sometimes. By the time our gets here, our friends will be wedding’d out and broke from either gifts or their own wedding.
Post # 5
You are over reacting…
You get a day… at the most a weekend… not a whole week, month, season or year (unless it was an immediate relative… like a Sister… then you’ll have a valid beef)
What you do need to be concerned about however is… will he still be the Best Man, OR is he going to be backing out of that role to be off on his Honeymoon ??
That really is your only valid concern
Hope this helps,
Post # 6
Just go with it. Maybe they are trying to compete, but that’s a reflection on them, not you. I’d be bummed, too, so I’m not passing judgment on that at all. Just saying there’s much better things to stress about 🙂
Post # 7
@Scar_cats_tic: Nope, not pregnant 🙂
Post # 8
My advice is that the easiest and most reasonable course of action involves trying to make peace with their decision. This is a surprisingly common problem on these boards, and it causes a lot of angst, but at the end of the day their plans are out of your hands. Assuming your plans are set and you don’t want to change them, I would just take a deep breath remember that their vows won’t take away from your own. Do you have mutual friends travelling who can only come to one wedding? If not, there is absolutely no reason to think their wedding would take away from yours either. It’s not like people will have less fun because they just had fun 5 days ago, and I doubt a wedding on such short notice will be very lavish and something you should worry about living up to.
Look on the bright side, you get to go to a fun event to celebrate a close friend’s marriage, and you can make mental notes for things to remember or avoid on your big day if you notice anything you hadn’t thought of.
Post # 9
Thanks for the ideas everyone!
@This Time Round: He says they aren’t going to go on a honeymoon so they can come to the wedding. They want to leave for their honeymoon when we leave for ours.
Post # 11
Ugh, sorry. This would bother me too.
Post # 12
Is it ideal? No.
Is there anything you can do? Realistically, no.
Allow yourself a day or two to mope and move past it. I understand you feeling a little bummed, however, there is no way to change the situation and asking them to change their date would come off badly.
If it’s any consolation, I’ve been to weddings that were a week apart and it didn’t detract one from the other. Each was special in it’s own way and both brides were the center of attention on their wedding day.
Post # 13
TO @javamonkey: you said,
He says they aren’t going to go on a honeymoon so they can come to the wedding. They want to leave for their honeymoon when we leave for ours.
How do you guys feel about a joint Honeymoon… I couldn’t read your comments without thinking he might propose such an idea. Lol.
(wouldn’t be my idea of fun… I’d want my Hubby & my time all to myself… super romantic. But then again, we went “accidently” on the same cruise with friends on their Honeymoon and we all had a blast together… they booked last minute and ended up on the same cruise as us… we made the discovery less than a week before. On-board we just got together nightly for cocktails & dinner. And all had a good time)
Post # 15
@This Time Round: I can’t imagine sharing a honeymoon, I want to spend every second with my husband 🙂 I hope it doesn’t get brought up. I’d feel terrible saying no!
Post # 16
@BeeG35: I don’t think it’s about people wanting to compete. It’s about different timelines working for different people. This comment seems snarky to me. Assuming that anyone is competing implies that your wedding has become the center of their universe, which I’m sure it hasn’t.
OP, be happy for your FI’s friend. You will have your day and they will have theirs. It also doesn’t matter that they’ve only been together for ten months. Fiance and I were together less than a year when he proposed and I couldn’t wait to set a date ASAP and become his wife. They’re not doing it to one up you, people have their own lives to live.