Fiance's bitchy mom has me almost in tears over my dress. :'(

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I think the lesson you’ve learned here is to only show her pictures of things you aren’t interested in at this point. Then you won’t feel bad when she insults it just to insult it. 

Post # 3
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

With this type of person, don’t fall into the trap of involving her in the discussion.  You can notify her, if you choose, after a decision is made, but present it as a decision, not an option.  Too many people, too many opinions, too much drama…that’s the wedding trap, in my opinion.

Post # 5
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius

prinprin:  Please don’t let her, on anyone make you feel sad about the dress you like. You pick the dress that you love, don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Some people really do just speak their mind, and if they have a different opinion to you then they will tell you, if she doesn’t personally like it and you do, tough, it’s your wedding. 

It’s nice to get advice, however ultimatly you are the one wearing it on your wedding day, you have to love it and feel comfortable. Her idea of the perfect wedding dress you might think is hideous! Would you wear it just because she said so?

Please don’t let it all get on top of you and make you upset, I know you were trying to include her, but perhaps keep her at arms length and let her know you want to do it by yourself, or you will do it when you are ready to. 

Post # 6
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

Is she paying for the dress? If not, then her opinion is not valid.

Post # 7
Member
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Girl, brush it off. People like that don’t deserve your time. She is intentionally trying to hurt you. Her “older” opinion isn’t the only one that matters.  She sounds toxic. 

Post # 8
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That is really uncool of her. The wedding dress is yours to choose! Unless you’re thinking of wearing something just wildly inappropriate, she should keep her opinions private. 

What if you just stop trying to include her in the dress selection process from now on? You were nice to try to include her, but she’s proven she’s unhelpful. When I was choosing my wedding dress, my mom came with me to the store, but I kept my selection a complete secret from everyone else. I knew that some people would inevitably have negative opinions that they were just itching to share, and I wanted to spare myself the annoyance! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

prinprin:  Oof.  Yeah.  Don’t show her things you really like, she’ll just knock them down.  UGH!!!!  

Post # 11
Member
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

prinprin:  I would tell her if se keeps being so rude and unsupportive, all wedding conversations are off for the unforeseeable future.

Post # 12
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

prinprin:  she’s probably not evil since she’s letting you,live in her house. she disagreed with you and kind of poured crap on your vision, but she also wants you to marry her son or she wouldn’t be pushing vendors. that is a huge bonus for your married life, and I would protect that if you can!

she’s obviously opinionated so don’t expect her to agree or make you feel good about your choices. Save those moments for someone who is good at supportive comments.

just tell her that you appreciate her upcoming help with the vendors, and maybe give her a job to,do, like find us a florists who does x or find three possible caterers and their menus. 

Gently, I want to say that while I know control freaks can be super annoying, this is your FIs mother and it seems like her crime is wanting to be involved and being opinionated. You’ve called her a bitch. I don’t think you are going to like where your attitude takes you, but that’s your decision. 

Post # 14
Member
7285 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Lesson learned. Don’t share your ideas next time and also grow thicker skin. everyone isn’t going to like your ideas and that’s okay to. But she did belabor the point so I can see why that is annoying.

Post # 15
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

prinprin:  i agree with the other bees on here. dont include her in any more wedding things – until you and your FI have made your final decisions on things then it’s a ‘here it is! like it or lump it’. i find people that are intentionally mean are usually jealous and very insecure. i know you’re living with her and as such have to be polite and accomodating to a point – but i’d keep the wedding discussions down to a minimum. if she really gets in your face – just brush her off – “we (your FI) and i haven’t talked about it yet” or “not too sure – still looking at other options”. just to feed her a morsel but not enough for her to get her opinions in. 

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