Fiancés brother and his girlfriend are a NIGHTMARE! HELP!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Your wedding your bridal party. End of story. You are an adult and you may have whoever you want. Also it’s his brothers girlfriend, not his sister. If understand a family member but she isn’t that and she sounds horrible so stand your ground

Post # 3
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

LittleE3:  +1. And I would amp it up by not inviting her.

Post # 4
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

“Thank you for the suggestion, I’ll think about it”

And never think about it. If they ask you again just tell them: “Oh, my bridal party is perfect as it is, thanks”

Post # 5
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

YOUR wedding, YOUR bridal party choices. nobody else has any right to tell you who has to be in the bridal party. well, aside from your FI.

Post # 6
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

ChristinTS:  1. It is your FI’s and your wedding. Period. You figure out who you want in it. It may hurt feelings but damn this girl sounds straight up retarded!

2. You just can’t worry about what they will think. You want to, I get it and I’m sure FMIL may not help, and that’s not cool but chances are he won’t even end up staying with this young lass! She nor anyone else can pick your weddding party. 

I understand the concern but that girl sounds pretty shady and just generally out to do damage. I wouldn’t want me around that either. If it came to it…I’d elope.

Post # 7
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Holy crap.  So sorry you are dealing with all that BS.  1. It’s obtuse of your FMIL to try to have any say in your bridal party  2. She’s not family  3. I think your FI needs to take it from here, as you are in the middle of something that you shouldn’t be. 

If it really gets to be a point where she needs something to do in the wedding, suggest she can hand programs to people as they come in or be at the guest book.

Post # 8
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

She sounds like an immature little punk. I’m about her age and I wouldnt behave that way to someone who was trying to befriend me .  Don’t let her be in your bridal party. If they have only been dating since November of last year its laughable that she or anyone else expects her to be in your bridal party! HA, no!

Post # 9
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Tell them you have already chosen your bridal party. Don’t feel pressured to have this girl in your party. She has shown that she is not exactly supportive of your relationship anyway! She sounds super insecure.

Post # 11
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Let her be pissy and upset. You do what’s best for you (and make sure FI totally backs you up in front of his family, too). She’s 19, what does she know about weddings? Nothing, I’m sure. As is shown by her lack of maturity and etiquette about all of this. 

Post # 12
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

ChristinTS:  No, it’s bad politics and forcing her to pick a side. And it would be downright tacky for you to air that bit of nonsense. You will just look small and petty. Stay strong and don’t let other people’s bad behavior dictate your own.

Post # 13
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

Your wedding party, your say. I was with my husband for three years when his brother and sister in law got married. I had no expectation to be in her bridal party and I wasn’t, no hard feelings. When I got married, there was no expectation for her to be in my bridal party. No hard feelings too. We get along very well too. Just because she’s the brother’s girlfriend doesn’t mean she’s automatically in the wedding party. She can go sulk in the corner all night. 

Post # 14
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ChristinTS:  You are under no obigation to choose your FBIL’s girlfriend as a BM.

Do not tell FMIl why you are not choosing her. There is no good end to that plan.

Post # 15
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

ChristinTS:   You don’t need to explain your decisions about your bridal party to anyone, ever.

As far as the girlfriend, just let her have all the rope she needs.  

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