- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Alright this is pretty much a vent session, but I wonder if I am being a Bridezilla, or if I am right to be bugged.
The fiance and I got engaged in November and are getting married in May. We’ve been dating for 3 years, so we figure a short engagement is okay.
His sister (who only dated her fiance for 6 weeks) got engaged in October and married March, so although we were hoping to get married in March, but fiance took forever to give me the ring so she beat us to it, so we space our wedding out til May to give the family time to breath and let her still have the spotlight. I know she’d be pissed if we had decided to do it a couple weeks after her, but I thought 2 months was plenty of time.
Anyway, so 3 weeks ago my fiance’s older brother announces he is engaged. We all thought he was going to break up with his Girlfriend of 4 months (they have been off and on 3 or 4 times), but they surprised us and said they were getting married. I was really happy for them until…
A few days later they surprise again and say they’re getting married in April. (This FRIDAY to be exact) They said “they couldn’t wait and didn’t mind planning a wedding in 4 weeks”
I just feel like I haven’t been able to plan anything with his family because I was waiting for his sister to get married, and now I still can’t because the brother’s fiance wanted to jump right in line and butt us!
Am I wrong for being upset?
It wouldn’t be so bad if they had at least jumped in a few months ago, but because it’s so close to our day I felt like she butt in line in a sense. I feel like they have not been sensitive to me or my fiance’s feelings.
His family tried to sway them away from doing it this way, but again they “couldn’t wait” I guess even when his parents said “No, that’s too rude. don’t do it” He was crying and saying “Just let me do what I want”
Now she sits and says things like “I don’t want to step on your toes… ” or “I’m sorry we made you last” If she really cared, she would’ve waited to June, which still would’ve been a short engagement in my opinion!
Also, at family dinners and get togethers I often sense her trying to manipulate the conversation toward herself, and sometimes shuts me down, or says things sarcastically that are not nice. I’ve had a long time to get to know the family and I can tell she is still trying to be accepted, the brother didn’t bring her around until they were engaged.
Have any of you had to deal with this?
I understand that if its the right time for them, its the right time, and it’s not about making other people happy, its about being happy and focused on the one you love… but I just would never want to enter a family in that way with negative feelings, and I feel like she is self-centered and shoving her way and muscling me over so she can have the “spotlight.”
I guess a mature person wouldn’t worry about it and just be happy for them, but I can’t get over how hurt I feel
EDIT: The sister is the youngest, my fiance is the middle, the brother is the oldest. I guess maybe he wanted to beat at least one of them!
Oh and their wedding is about one month ahead of ours.