(Closed) Fiance’s niece keeps thinking she’s going to be a junior bridesmaid…HELP!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I would have her hand out programs with her brother, however to make her feel more special I would also give her a corsage (baby roses), and her a brother a boutenierre (that matches).  If you are having programs for the ceremony I would also list them there. 

Along with your fiance I would approach her mother, and say “We have already chosen a bridal party but we would like to have your children involved as they are the groom’s nieces and nephews.  We would like your eldest to read, and the younger two to hand out programs.  They will all be given corsages/boutinieres to denote how special they are to us.”  At that point you would then approach each of the nieces/nephew and give them the news.

That is the best way (I can think of) to include them but make them feel special.

Post # 4
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think I would ask her to be the guest book attendant.  I kind of think that the “guest book” attendant job sucks and so it would be perfect for this bratty girl. 

Ok, that’s mean of me 🙂

Post # 5
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

have her dress in a coordinating color (not the same dress!) as the bridesmaids, and ask her to be in charge of the flower girl and ring bearer (if you have one…)? 

thats all I got lol.  For some perspective, when I was about 12-13, my older sister got married (she was around 30) and I was so upset that I wasn’t a bridesmaid. Looking back, I know that a 13 year old bridesmaid is meaningless and could very likely cause more trouble. Even if you hurt some feelings now, I promise when she gets older she’ll understand!

Post # 7
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Another position that has always gone to the kids in my family is handing out bubbles/birdseed after the wedding.  They get bored with it after 2 minutes, but its harmless if they do!  🙂

Post # 8
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m hoping we can also involve my FI’s niece and nephew in our wedding. They will be 9 (nephew) and 14 (niece) at the wedding. Fortunately my future niece is way cool. She might be “too cool” to help out, but we’ll see. I was hoping I could get their help in passing out our exit ribbons-on-a-stick, so that everyone has them for when we stage our exit from the church.

I’m actually more concerned about my step-mom niece who asked me last week if kids were invited. Pretty smart 8-year-old to know that some weddings don’t have kids. I just told her I hadn’t decided yet. She seemed okay with that answer. But, the truth is that my step-sister has 6 kids and lives in CA. If she flies the kids in for the wedding (depending on budget and cost of traveling 8 people), then my step-mom’s nieces and nephews will be invited. Those will be the only kids.

I agree that you ought to talk to her mother first. Maybe if the niece is persistent, the mom can have a conversation with her by themselves first to let her know that you’ve already picked attendants. I don’t know how many pre-teens know about junior BMs unless some adult in the family maybe previously made it seem like that was a possiblity. If someone suggested this idea to her previously, than that adult ought to talk to your future niece about it and remedy what they started.

Good luck to you on that! I’m sure you can find something that will work to recognize their importance to your FI and you.

Post # 9
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Maybe she can help to guide the flowergirl. I also like hte idea that she could wear a dress in the wedding colors. Or maybe she could escort one of the grandmother down the aisle?

Post # 10
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

oh  my! i had to reply to this post because,  I am having the same problem!!! My fi nieces out right said taht they will be the flower girls. ( mind you  they are 9 and 8 do its not like they will have any say) but by the time we get married they will be about 11 and 10. i told them that i have a niece who will be about 3 at the time of the wedding and that maybe they could be jr. bridesmaids. But they were demanding to be flower girls! I tell ya, little girls are very serious about  their roles in a wedding. lol

Post # 11
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I guess I would say “thank you so much for being excited about the wedding! I ahd a different plan for you, though”- then give her something else to do.

Her parents will probably be relieved that they don’t have to shell out for a bm dress.

Post # 12
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I guess I would say “thank you so much for being excited about the wedding! I ahd a different plan for you, though”- then give her something else to do.

Her parents will probably be relieved that they don’t have to shell out for a bm dress.

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