- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
My FI and I had an argument yesterday about wedding planning, and I have not spoken to him since. The reason I am still mad is because we can’t seem to have a calm conversation about this. I know a lot of bees say fighting over wedding planning is normal and this shall pass. I still have grudge against him not because wedding related stuff, but because of his attitude toward it.
So here is the brief scenario: since a lot of my family are flying to our wedding venue, we plan to have a 4 days trip right after the wedding for everyone. However, the tour guide that my FI plan to have does not speak any language other than Chinese. Problem: my family won’t be able to understand.
Therefore, my family suggested that we go on a trip with a travel agency that offers multiple language. Once I told him about the option that my family and I he started to flip out. I looked and him and said “there is no need for you to raise voice toward me, I am just telling you what my family think about this”. He went on and on about how it makes him look bad and as if he has not done anything for me ya da ya da.
I told him it is okay to stick with his plan, just find us someone that speaks multiple language. He said he can not find one, and it is unecessary to have a tour guide, because they talk crap anyway (?!?!)
What hurts me the most is that he finally said “I will just keep my trip plan, and it is up to you and your family to join us or not. Or else they can book their own trip and I have mine.”
So, what is the point of us getting married after all? I feel like we lost track of the whole thing, as if this has nothing to do with us getting married.
After our fight, he started to emailed his trip plan to our friends and copied me on it. And this morning he emailed me the info of our photographer. To be honest, I don’t really like that photographer’s work. However, I don’t feel like I want to express my opinion anymore. Or may be I can’t care less at this point. It seems to be someone’s else wedding, not mine.
Last night I went out until 1AM and he just didn’t care. I came home and saw him sleeping already. I think his behavior is very controlling and inappropriate. I just want my family to have a nice experience traveling, especially this is their first time traveling to a different country. It hurts me to know that my FI does not care about that, especially he has never met my parents. On top of that, I don’t want to be with someone that I can not have a calm conversation when it comes to major events let it be buying house, having kid, moving, changing jobs… Normally he is a positive person to be around. We can goof around with each other all day. But when it comes to major things, he makes sure that he has his way and my opinion is often claimed as stupid.
Bottom line is I don’t feel that I am at fault this time. If he does not initiate a serious talk and appologize to me, I don’t think this is working out. He can plan all he wants, deposit on everything, the only thing missing is a bride. I am not going with him if this conflict is not resolved. I am thinking about not coming home tonight at all, because I don’t even want to look at his calm face right now as if nothing happened. And I don’t think it matters if I don’t come home a day or 2. I am really depressed.