Post # 1
I’m usually on here as a separate name, but I had to pick an anonymous one. My ex-friend in question here is a lurker, and I think she can tell it’s me by my normal screen name.
A few months ago, my close friend (not a bridesmaid, but a guest to the wedding) and I got into a huge fight. I won’t bother you folks with the reason behind the fight because it was such a silly fight, but she and I no longer talk.
Before this, she and I were pretty close. I had only known her for 2 years or so, yet I was her longest friend. She is… difficult to get along with. She usually has fights with her friends, and blames them for it. The only reason why I stayed around so long is because I’m a very patient person, and if she got on my nerves, I would just take a few days break from her.
After our fight, she would make catty comments on facebook with our mutual friends about me, saying that I should feel lucky to have finally gotten engaged and other things. When my friends defended me, she would argue that she had a right to her own opinion. Once, I tried to call her because I hate fighting with someone, and the fight was so stupid, but she ignored my phone call and never returned my message. She is the type of person that would hold a grudge (she still gossips about someone she hasn’t spoken to in 5 years).
Now, hive, I have a problem. I had already sent out my Save-The-Date Cards before our falling out, and she received one of course. (My wedding isn’t really in August 2012.) Should I still invite her to the wedding? I know etiquette says those that receive an STD should receive an invitation, but I don’t think the invitation gurus considered unreasonable guests. I think if I invited her, she would come and make snarky comments all night long to those sitting with her. If I don’t invite her, I think she’ll make snarky comments all the months leading to the wedding. With the stress of the wedding, I don’t think I can handle it either way! What should I do?
Post # 3
A few years ago I received a STD for a wedding of a friend. We weren’t super close, but close enough. Anyway, I actually moved across the country and lost touch with this friend and ultimately I never got an invitation to the wedding. To clarify, she had my new address because I received the STD soon after I had moved.
Personally, I wasn’t offended. We had lost touch so I completely understood. If your wedding isn’t until Aug 2012 and you don’t planning on continuing to talk with her and try to be her friend, I wouldn’t send an invite. Who cares if she talks about you on FB….if she’s doing that to all her so-called “friends ” they all know what she is like so they won’t think badly of you.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t invite her, you don’t need that drama. I gave a STD to someone I found out later was cheating with a friend of mine at work (they both were married) and I decided not to invite her.
Post # 5
I would say don’t invite her and block her on facebook that way you can’t see any comments she’s making on any friends pages… (out of sight out of mind, right?)
Post # 6
Wow, I can understand what your saying. I had a HUGE fight with a friend I felt like a sister in oct 09 and haven’t spoken to since. I know you sent the STD, but in honesty I would NOT invite her. If she is as catty and mean spirited as you say, I would not even want to take my chance that she would make a scene at the wedding.
I have heard of people who hire “security” they give them the name or picture of people they don’t want in the party(if they show up uninvited) and basically kick them out before any scene happens.
I know that’s not a nice thing to do but, its your big day and I would hate for it to get ruined or for you to get upset, so I would suggest not inviting her.
Post # 7
Thank you all for your input! I was leaning toward not inviting her, but I needed some weddingbee input.
@vvaccaro: Our wedding is actually sooner than August 2012, but I just put that to help “disguise” me.
@CruiseWedding2010: I’m glad that you stuck with your morals and didn’t invite her. How awful, and what an awkward position knowing about it!
@HappilyEverAfter54: I didn’t think about blocking her on facebook. I will now! Thanks for the suggestion.
@Sigyn: We will have security, actually, but I’m definitely going to ask if we can have them not allow certain people into the wedding.
Thanks again, ladies!