fight with FI over ex, advice?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@kbear04:  how old are you? He is just FB friends with her? Yes, some people are still FB friends with some of their exes, including my husband and many of my friends. It was very dramatic to demand he defriend her or break up with you, not to mention controlling. He didn’t cheat on you, he’s not meeting her in person behind your back. He’s “friends” with her on a social media site. You need to put your big girl panties on and apologize. 

Post # 4
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

FI is friends with an ex on fb. i’m friends with 2 exes on fb. there are no romantic feelings towards any of these people anymore. therefore, it’s not a problem.

i talk to one of my exes a lot. he’s one of the people i go to when i need advice, because he’s that kind of person. am i in love with him? no. would i ever be in love with him again? no. because he’s in the past. we broke up on good terms, and we will remain friendly because we’re better off that way.

Post # 5
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Unless he cheated on you with her in the past, he’s well within his rights to still be friends with her on FB! I have a few exes on FB, and DH has a TON!

I think he just likes to show off how awesome he is!

Post # 6
311 posts
Helper bee

@kbear04:  My opinion for what it is worth is that you are acting very immature! They are just facebook friends and so what if they talk. I talk to all my exes. If you are no secure enough in your relationship for your SO to talk to his exes then maybe you do need to reevaluate your relationship!

Post # 7
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@kbear04:  the ultimatum was a bit uncalled for and dramatic, imo. 

Post # 8
135 posts
Blushing bee

You’re the fiancee for a reason.  Don’t prove him wrong by further behaving in the way that you did.


Post # 9
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kbear04:  It’s not normal to be friends with an ex. But it’s also not normal to break up an engagement just because he is FB friends with an ex. There must be something else going on here – do you have other reasons not to trust him?

Post # 10
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@kbear04:  Unless his message with her was “I still have feelings for you” and it was while you two were dating, you are waaaay overreacting. Nothing wrong with being facebook friends with an ex. If they often contact each other too affectionately or in an inappropriate way then obviously that’s a problem, but at that point the facebook friends fact is the least of your worries.

So yes, you should apologize for being crazy and overly jealous and get over it unless he has given you any actual reason to not trust him.

Post # 11
2246 posts
Buzzing bee

@kbear04:  end your relationship over them being fb friends? you just demonstrated to your FI that not only do you not trust him, but you’re not very mature either. Yes, you overreacted. 

Post # 12
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My advice would be to sincerely apologize. It is never ok to threaten to break up with someone so you can get your way. That’s called emotional blackmail, and it’s a really shitty thing to do to your partner. 

Post # 13
980 posts
Busy bee

I really don’t see the issue here. They haven’t even met up? I’m friends wi pretty much all of my exes. I don’t understand why this would be something to break up over.

Post # 14
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@kbear04:  what the hell? I completely agree with many of the PP. You are way overreacting. Many people are friends with their exes. Just because they’re exes, doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to be friends, especially even if it’s just on social media. You definitely need to apologize and maybe rethink/work on how you react to situations like that. If I were him, and you did that to me, I’d choose the break up with you option. I would never in my life deal with someone acting like that over something as insigificant as facebook. Especially considering he didn’t even do anything. 

Post # 16
1715 posts
Bumble bee

Is there more to this story than you wrote in the post? Have you had any bad experiences or interactions with this ex? 

If they are just exes and there haven’t been any inappropriate interactions between them, and you haven’t had any negative interactions with her, I don’t see why this should be an engagement-ending issue. 

I don’t see the problem, sorry. 

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