- 2 years ago
SO is a wonderful man and 99% of the time treats me very well. The times he doesn’t aren’t anything serious really, just minor annoyances. Really wanted to get a second opinion on if I should be pushing this.
This year SO got a group of friends who really like him and he spends a fair amount of time with (2-4 nights a week each week). His friends are good people, but they’re 1L law students who are very, very cliqueish and only seem to talk about inside jokes and stuff that goes on in their class and don’t really include me. I’m fine with him going alone to see them, but he always begs me to come because he wants me to be friends with them too. I try, but we just don’t have anything in common.
I took the bar exam this week, which was a 3 day grueling 8-10 hour a day test I’ve been studying for 12 hours a day almost every day this summer. SO did an amazing job taking care of me this summer (but very rarely had to give up time with his friends to do so). This weekend I wanted to relax, do fun things around town and see my friends that are moving away soon for their new jobs, but SO begged me to go on a weekend trip with his friends that they had planned (and one of the friends’ parents had paid for). I very, very reluctantly agreed, as this was not what I wanted to do on my first weekend off in 3 months. His friends were nice enough this weekend, but for the most part ignored me per usual to talk to each other.
We have a vacation to the beach planned for next week, a very small “bar trip” and our first real vacation in two years. It was originally going to be a full week, but I got an interview early in the week so we had to cut it short by a day, then he got two interviews for positions next summer so we had to cut it short by two more days. It’s now a four day trip, which I’m disappointed about but interviews are more important. He has now announced that he wants to leave our vacation spot (3 hours away from home) to drive home to go to the semi finals of trivia this summer with his friends. I am a VERY unhappy camper and have been digging in my heels on this issue.
To be fair, they’ve been competing in this trivia thing each week all summer and there is a large cash prize. He is the best one on their team and they can’t win without him. But this is not the final round and there is a very low standard who makes it into the finals, I think they can make it without him. And frankly, even if they don’t, this is our first vacation in two years, I just took the friggin bar exam and have had NO FUN this summer whatsoever whereas he went out multiple times a week, it’s only four days long, and he wants to leave me alone for 1/4th of it to go play trivia. I spent my first weekend off from the bar with his friends and have not had a very good time, but I did it for him. We had this vacation planned long before they announced the semi final date and I’m only asking for four days, I think he should tell his friends sorry but he has other plans. But everytime I try to tell him this he looks crushed and tells me that they’ll be so upset with him (and, impliedly, me for making him miss it).
I don’t know what to do. What would y’all do?