Fighting Guests

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I had REALLY bad blood between two of my guests. I won’t get into details but when I say bad, I mean horrible parent/adult child bad and they were not speaking and said they never would again. I had already sent out STD’s and invites were close behind them. I was crazy with anxiety as to what action I should take and in the end, I told them both that I was inviting both sets, but sat them as far as possible from each other and made it clear that  people could act like normal humans for one day. It actually turned out okay, not perfect, but okay.

I did have more people at the wedding though, so that made it easier.. about 70. They could avoid each other. But with that said, your parents are much more important than Mary. Even if they are acting childish about it, if they say they won’t come if Mary comes, then I’d have to not invite her. It wouldn’t be worth it to me 🙁

Post # 4
Member
2328 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

At the end of the day, it is your wedding – not your parents. If you really want Mary there then invite her. It’s up to her whether she attends or not because she will hopefully assume that your parents are going to be there. They dont have to be sat together. 

I suppose the question for your parents to think about is this – what’s more important? Our daughter’s wedding or this feud with our neighbour?

Post # 5
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It would be absolutely ridiculous for your parents to skip your wedding just because you invited a long-time friend who you have no problems with, and I would tell them just that. They need to be there to support you, and let go of this grudge so they don’t ruin your day. What a shame it would be if they reconciled somewhere down the line and she missed your wedding all because of this petty behavior. Invite her and tell your parents to keep a lid on the drama.

Post # 7
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow, your parents need to start acting like the adults they are.  Invite the neighbor and tell your parents they need to put a lid on it for one day.

Post # 8
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d say dont invite her, just because your dad tried to apologize and she kicked him off her property.  She’s the one being childish.

I went to a wedding where an ex couple started fighting loudly and it was soooo awkward–not just for the bride and groom but for all the guests–and you can guess what everyone was talking about all night.   I don’t know if they’d start fighting loudly but I wouldn’t risk it at my wedding.

Post # 9
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wow, do you really think your parents would skip your wedding if you invited Mary? That’s unacceptable. I know that your parents don’t want you to invite her, but maybe you can sit them down and explain that it is important for you to invite Mary and that the fight had nothing to do with you so you don’t feel that you should be punished for it. Even if they’re really angry, they should be mature enough to understand the situation they’ve put you in and put their bull shit aside for your wedding day.

If you want your parents and Mary there, they should all be invited. You’re not going to have another wedding. And you can’t change your mind and redo it after the fact.

Post # 10
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No offense, but your parents and Mary sound immature here. To put you in the middle of it is even worse.

It is your wedding. Invite who you want. If you parents or Mary would actually SKIP YOUR WEDDING because of neighbour-hating, then that is on them, not on you. I would tell them that everyone is getting invited, and that you know they love you enough to put their issues aside for your sake. Hopefully they will take the hint. Don’t get dragged in to anyone’s else’s drama. Who knows, maybe the chance to celebrate and have fun will help mend their problem.

As adults, they should be able to set aside their differences and behave themselves.

Post # 11
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m sure the situation has a lot more complexities and nuances than what you’ve been able to tell us here, but from what you have said, Mary sounds like an idiot and it might be best to just not invite her for now. If your dad did try to apologize (and it was very mature of him to be the one to do so if both sides were at fault) and Mary summarily refused to accept the apology, then, well, she’s made her bed by wanting to prolong the fight, and now she can lie in it.

Maybe they will reconcile before the wedding, and then you can go ahead and invite Mary if you like . . .

Post # 12
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Ack, yuck.

I’d have to REALLY like this Mary person to be able to reconcile her attitude about your dad’s attempt to apologize. Otherwise I’d have to agree with a PP: she made her bed here. She’s got to realize that behavior is going to have repercussions with the family, so not getting an invite shouldn’t be that surprising.

Blech, I hate that stuff. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Your dad tried to apologize.  Mary didn’t accept and told him to leave.  I think you should make things easier on your parents and not invite her.

 

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