Post # 1
Has this happened to anyone else? It seems like we were very happy and we rarely fought before getting engaged. We only see each other on the weekends right now, and every weekend lately seems to be spent fighting. We’ve only been engaged four months, but it seems a ton has changed in such a small amount of time. It’s making me really worried. I’m not sure if we’re fighting more because of more stress [about to move in together, wedding planning, our daughter being a three-year-old, etc] or if it’s because we’re not really as perfect together as I thought. I’m having a hard time telling if this is cold feet over such a life changing event or if it’s something more serious. Any advice is appreciated and welcome. I’m starting to freak out a little lot. Thanks, bees.
Post # 3
Oh hun I’m sorry but maybe it’s just stress. FI and I have been arguing more since planning our wedding but I think it has a lot to do with money and the stresses of paying for everything.
Post # 4
@MrsDPal811: I hope that’s what it is, plus the added stress of trying to find a house to rent/packing/moving. I guess I need to talk to him about it, but I hate to bring up doubts. Then he’ll get offended and probably wonder if I’m still having doubts the rest of the engagement.
Post # 5
Yeah, my fiance and I, well, not so much fight, but “vehemently discuss” more often now that we’re engaged. I think all the added stress of planning a wedding doesn’t help, not to mention when you’re just ‘dating’ (even if it’s been several years), it’s easier to let your partner’s annoying behaviours slide. When you realise you’re going to have to live the behaviour for the rest of your life, it’s a whole different matter!
For example, my fiance was/is an awful communicator – he barely ever spoke about our future together until he proposed! Straight after the proposal, he went back to unable to talk about weddings, kids, buying a house, etc. So I basically cracked it with him – I could handle the poor communication when we were just together, but if I’m planning a life with this guy, I wanted to know what was happening!
So, since getting engaged, we’ve “discussed” issues like household chores, annoying habits, future plans (kids, houses, jobs, etc.), and these issues all leave lots of room for disagreement and, while it’s not really fighting, we’ll discuss these at length, sometimes with tears and swearing, but as long as it all ends well, we’re happy
Post # 6
It’s healthy to bring up doubts and any fears that any of you are feeling that way you can work through them together. He might get offended and get his feelings hurt but I believe it’s much better to get everything out in the open that way there are no surprises.
Post # 7
My relationship with my fiance got very strained almost as soon as we got engaged. People told me that engagement is supposed to be the most blissful time, and that if it’s not, something is wrong, but this is not the case for everyone. My sister and her beloved husband were aweful for fighting during their engagement. She said it was the worst time of their relationship. It’s not necessarily a bad sign. Keep a pulse on it though – my fights with FI led to our break-up because it was due to larger, very big issues that we hadn’t faced yet. In my sister’s case, their fighting was due to stress, and they have a really happy marriage now.