Post # 1
So my wedding is this Friday. Unfortunately so much has gone wrong between our cake, photographer, picture location, venue, random bug/flea infestation at our apartment (we’ve been at his parents for 5 nights now), etc..My fiances done his share of procrastinating and let me tell you THAT frusturates the hell out of me. He hasn’t taken care of some tasks until last minute. for example, tomorrow is our last day to get things together and he still hasn’t gotten any of the alcohol/bar stuff. He only now has booked hotels for us and vendors coming in from out of town. So this has caused so much stress and tension for me because i’m thinking “WHY are you just now doing this?” We’ve planned this wedding since July and have had a lot going on like moved to a new state, started a new job, graduated school. So yes it’s our problem but my real question is how can I make peace with my fiance? I keep snapping at him and have an attitude and he’s done the same to me. We’ve been losing our cool with each other and it’s extreamly painful for me. We had a pretty massive fight tonight and he cried and freaked out at me(when I tried talking to him about this and confronted him). He’s really emotional (more than me) My fiance has POOR time management and procrastinates and wastes a lot of time sitting around, talking to friends, etc. okay that’s fine any other time but NOT 2 DAYS BEFORE WEDDING we still don’t have programs, signs, seating arrangements, vows written, bags packed for honeymoon, and ceremony details. I’m extreamly frusturated and PMSING and on my period dealing with birth like contraction pain so that’s also stressful. I’m basically NOT excited at all at this point about getting married, having a wedding and instead am getting sensitive and being plain PISSED OFF and my fiance and just want to give him the cold shoulder. I want to get over this and need to move on and just be happy. I’m just pissed that he’s promised me how he’s gonna help and what our game plan for the day is but the tasks don’t get done. I know i sound like a complete biatch but I feel I’ve been extreamly cool, calm, collected and Patient until now when shits hitting the fan. How do I act patient and not bring myself and fiance down? I’m just really stressed and burned out and have been planning this wedding completely on my own. I’ve had night terrors for weeks about being unprepared day of wedding and everything going wrong and I feel it’s coming to reality. Read more:
This topic was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by tkala.
Post # 2
tkala: Sit down together and make a list of what has to be done and prioritize the list.Some of those things will have no negative outcome if they are not done e.g programs
Let him choose which tasks he will take responsibiity for, you do the rest. No fighting, nagging, nitpicking allowed.
Post # 3
tkala: Take a couple of deep breaths. PMS is a bear. Can you use midol or a hot pack on your tummy? Figure out your best game plan for tomorrow. Make a list based on priorities. Can you delegate any to someone else besides you and FI? Delegate what you can. Do you absolutely need programs? There’s a method for doing a seating chart with different color paper strips-maybe you can do it with markers if you don’t have different colored paper-anyway, check this out, cause it can make it much easier: http://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=easy+wedding+seating+chart+ Make it so you can get a good night’s sleep tonight, so this doesn’t carry over to tomorrow. Tomorrow-Do the important stuff first together if you need to, then he can do the stuff he needs to accomplish. Is there a friend of his, or your dad or somebody that can take him and keep him on track, after you have done what you must do together? Remember why you love him & want to marry him. No matter what happens, you will be married and hopefully honeymooning in 3 days. I hope this is somewhat helpful!
Post # 4
tkala: sometimes you have to just let go. He’s going to have to deal with his decisions and if he’s late or things are messed up, he will have to deal with that. I know that sounds contrary to every time management lesson you know, and it is, but you’re really not helping him right now. So take a breath and walk away from the problem. The most important thing is to be kind and supportive of your partner and he to you.
Also, midol! It will be okay:-) this is pretty normal.
Post # 5
tkala: Take a step back and put it all into perspective. What is all this stress for? You are having a party to celebrate the marriage between you two. What good is it if you are arguing over bar items? FOCUS ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT. It’s not the details of your wedding, it’s the marriage.
Post # 6
This is very similar to my own story – I had a massive fight with DH the night before my wedding too about the same kind of things – I was really stressed about getting everything sorted. We only finished the seating plan the night before the wedding! But we made up and the wedding day went great. There were small details that I didnt have fully sorted but on the day itself it didn’t matter.
Try and figure out what you absolutely need and what you can do without. And try and remember why you’re doing this in the first place. Everything will cone together on the day, I promise
Post # 7
I’d be infuriated. My FI was incredibly helpful leading up to the wedding to alleviate any stresses I may be feeling.. Our logic was why spend so much money on this thing if we werent going to enjoy every minute of it.
Ask him what his problem is. Maybe he doesn’t care about the details you’re prompting him to deal with.. You two should be on the same page about your expectations for this wedding.. Without either of you losing your shit.