Post # 1
Because this may help some of you–
I was looking for an RSVP card that would
1. Allow me to spell out the number of guests actually invited (eliminating the need for inner envelopes and the sorts of situations where you get back an RSVP with extra randos tacked on)
2. Allow a choice of entrees
3. All the options I saw allowed for one name on each card. That gets unwieldy…. (Some of my family members have a LOT of kids. How many kids are going to return an RSVP??) This card will allow all guests to choose their entrees without having to stick 6 or 7 response cards in one envelope OR keep track of many small envelopes at a time. This is useful because it saves money on return postage, AND because it allows us to get ONE invitation weighed, and not worry about needing different amounts of postage for each invite based on number of RSVP cards.
4. Allows me to see which people are actually coming, so that I can make place cards (if only 3 people of 4 are able to make it, and there is a number “2” next to chicken and a number “1” next to steak, how would I know who needed what?
It’s not everything I was looking for (for example, I’d have liked to have had each guests’ names on the cards), but I think I came pretty close to nailing it. Just posting here because before I started on this, I wasn’t able to find any non-DIY response cards that met all my qualifications. (This one came from Wedding Paper Divas–they were more than willing to work with my probably-sort-of-unorthodox requests.)
ETA: If this constitutes some horrible breach of etiquette I am not aware of, let me know. I don’t know that I will change it at this point, but it would be good to know.
Post # 3
@EffieTrinket: Nice! If we end up doing a plated dinner, I have the same concerns, but had planned to do it something like:
We have reserved ___ seats in your honor
M_________________ will have _chicken _beef
M_________________ will have _chicken _beef
And seriously, I might be writing in the names, cause with 200+ guests on the SHORT list, I don’t want people saying “Oh! 5 seats! Well our kids can’t come but why don’t I invite these people from church who weren’t invited. Nevermind that the bride has thought this through and isn’t inviting ANYONE from church because her father and she have different church friends and she’d feel bad inviting some but not all.”
Stupid RSVPs. I’m engaged 4 days and I’m already stressed out about them.
Post # 4
@EffieTrinket: Hi there. Cute card. Love the edges on it.
However, I don’t understand how it addresses #4 and why #4 matters. If you know you need two steaks and a chicken, do you care if Alice or Jim gets one or the other? If you do, the instructions are not clear as to how to make that apparent. By “initial,” do you mean actually writing your initials or indicating the choice? Maybe you need to say “write your name” instead of initial your choice.
I have never had to initial my choice so to me, the concept is foreign and how to put it across to my guests in a succinct fashion is even harder for my brain to comprehend.
I thought the entrée choices were mainly for the caterer’s count. Typically, I’ve been asking by the wait staff what I was having while I was seated for the first course. I did go to one wedding where they marked the back of my place card and I’m not sure how that happened. Perhaps I had attended as a single. Hmmm… magic.
You sure you can’t just add a back page to this RSVP? That would just make this soooooo much easier.
Post # 5
@MexiPino: If there are people you would definitely prefer not to be there (or you think your family might just bring people along), your way is definitely a good option. The only thing I’d suggest is that, next to chicken or beef, there is some sort of “unable to attend” option–in case Aunt and Uncle can come, but decide to get a sitter for Kiddo 1 and Kiddo 2, for example.
Post # 6
@EffieTrinket: Yeah, exactly. It’s complicated. A large portion of my family seems to have no freaking clue what’s acceptable when it comes to weddings. Famously, a whole section of them never RSVPd to a wedding 8 hours away and then the day before decided it would be “a fun surprise” for them to caravan up, unannounced. Caravan… cause there was like a dozen of them doing this! We’re a big Mexican family, so I could totally see my aunt-by-marriage thinking if her kids couldn’t come it would be “so nice” to invite her sisters “because they love you!”. Um. No. If your kids can’t come, I’m inviting a second friend because seriously only my absolute BEST friend fits right now.
Post # 7
@LilRhodyGem: The reason I am doing it this way is because with the plated dinner, I am afraid that people will either forget what they requested, or see someone else’s dish and change their mind. Apparently this happens…
if five people who originally wanted chicken smell the yummy steak and tell the caterer that that’s what they ordered, then Grandma Sharon, who had originally requested steak in the first place, might not get one. Or vice-versa.
Plus, if the caterer can just look and see that there’s a green, purple or white place card at each table and put down the corresponding entree, it will save a lot of time of having to ask everyone. Especially when people may have gotten up to mingle, use the bathroom, etc.
Not having to try and guess what everyone might decide they want on a whim will save us from having to bring a lot of extra food.
The “initial” wording was taken straight from the letterpress invitation RSVP, so I can’t imagine WPD would have that be their default if it caused a lot of problems. In the past, if I’ve ever been confused about an RSVP option, I’ve just written the pertinent info out to the side or called the couple. But I think people will be able to figure it out.
Post # 8
Seems good! We didn’t need people to speccify an entree, but each guest had to RSVP for 3 events (welcome dinner, wedding, morning after breakfast). Plus, we went all anal retentive and actually wrote out each guests name. It’s super busy but it totally worked!
Post # 9
@EffieTrinket: Like I said, I find it confusing. I’ve only ever put a check next to the entrees listed or numbers if we both wanted the same thing. I haven’t been asked to write my name or put down my 3-alpha character initial next to an entree choice.
All I am saying is that I think some of your guests may be confused by the wording.
Post # 10
Hi @EffieTrinket: It looks FANTASTIC !!
And as someone who has organized many events over the years, you are absolutely right about the more traditional custom of coordinating Place Cards to Entrees… so that the Wait Staff knows without asking what each Guest has pre-ordered.
It can be done by colour coded place cards, or by personalizing the cards in some way to match your theme…
ie… Red Star = Beef
Yellow Star = Chicken
Green Star = Vegetarian
The only way this goes off the rails is when Guests forget to Initial… and just put a number or check mark.
Hope this helps,
Post # 11
@This Time Round: Thanks! I already know I am probably going to have to make a few phone calls, lol.
Post # 12
@JenGirl: Zomg I love this. Super anal retentive for sure but sometimes you just gotta know things! We’re doing the exact.same.events (down to the same days!) and this is mega inspiration. Now to find a way to cram it onto a tiny card…