(Closed) Figuring how much to spend on a wedding gift if I can’t attend….

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: If you can't attend a wedding, how much would you spend on a gift?
    Less than you would if you were attending : (5 votes)
    22 %
    As much as you would if you were attending : (16 votes)
    70 %
    More than you would if you were attending : (2 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    I’ve heard that rule, but I don’t follow it. I follow the “what I can afford” rule, and I’d spend the same whether I attend or not.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I’ve never heard that rule. Like marigold, I go by what I can afford. Sometimes it’s $25, $50, or $100. It also depends on whether or not it’s a friend or family member. I’d just go with what you can afford.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3285 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I agree with tessabella76 – don’t go out of your means, and just go with what is comfortable for you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I generally give between $50-$100 depending on if the Fiance and I are both going, what type of reception it is, and how well I know the couple. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1490 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I always go by what I can afford, but the absolute minimum for me for a wedding present is $50. Any less feels like I’m trying to insult the couple or something… just my hangup, I know.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I don’t follow that rule either. It’s not my fault if you’re going crazy for your wedding and spending $150 per plate, I can’t afford to give you that much for a present, especially if I have a date! I give as much as I can afford, and take into account how close I am to the person.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1084 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I’ve heard that rule as well, but I don’t think it needs to be followed.  It doesn’t quite make sense as a lot of people spend more than the meal just on travel, hotel, organizing their schedule to attend a wedding.  I guess that’s one problem with registries is you link price with gift.  You could get a thoughtful gift off the registry and not worry about it.  Or get one on the registry that you like and are comfortable spending, they probably won’t analyze it too much and will just be happy to know you’re thinking of them. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    That is one of those stupid ol’age etiquette things and no one follows that. And ironically enough, I am watching a show on WE and a THEKNOT.COM Consultant just said one of the wedding donts as a guest is to base your gift on the amount of your plate, so it shows things really change over time. Do it if you want, but you honestly can never really know what someone spends on food, some can get good discounts, some spend ridiculous amounts. For me, and its with any gift, it depends on my relationship with the person and what I can afford at the time. I will not be able to attend a close to BF destination wedding, due to the costs it will take to go and stay there, but I am going all out for a gift, $200 at the most. I always spend a minimum of $50.

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