FIL called to apologize today…. then wants me to change bridal party

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

future.mrs.koban:  Unless FI hears directly from his brother, I would not give this another thought. Even then, I wouldn’t change the wedding party. I would let the brother know he is welcome to attend the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

future.mrs.koban:  I think you need to be prepared to squeeze the brother in if he has a change of heart. We hadn’t even started out seating charts 4 weeks before the wedding!

But I agree that it’s too late for him to be in the bridal party under any circumstances. I think julies1949:  is spot on: your fiance tells them that there will be no change unless the brother himself contacts your fiance and says he’s coming. (And you did exactly the right thing by letting FI talk to his parents about his bridal party).

Post # 6
Member
10489 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

julies1949:  +1

If you two want to include him any more than that, what about letting him be an usher?

Post # 7
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I just want to say that I am sorry for the drama. It sounds like you and your FI must have a very strong relationship to put up with all of this and to get married anyways. I am currently seeing a counselor for all the drama my wedding has caused so I undestand. 

I understand that your FI doesn’t want to cause drama. I would say that if your FIL pushes anymore your FI should calmly explain that the BIL was never kicked out, and that he is free to attend the wedding, but that it is not possible at this time to allow him back into the bridal party. He will need to be firm and if drama starts he should leave the situation after a=stating that he wants to share your day with them and the brother’s involvement is up to him.

Post # 10
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

 

future.mrs.koban:  It’s tough for both of you. I am sure both of you just want a nice relationship between you and his family.Obviously they are makking that impossible. Your FI probably thought there was a glimmer of hope with his dad appologizing and was devastated to see that hope crushed. The good news is that he acknowledges how nasty his family has been. I am sorry you have to go through this.

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