(Closed) FIL DRAMA.. posponed/cancelled wedding..

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7468 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Ugh that sucks. I’d just elope.

Post # 6
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think the second one has a certain ring to it.

Really sucks how much crap you’ve been put through, interfering out-laws are the worst. Although it is good to hear that it has made you and FI closer – silver-lining, anyone? Here’s to a ‘happily every after!’

Post # 7
Member
7468 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@DelishDish417:  You can still wear it if you elope! I’ve seen beautiful elopement ceremony pictures on this site where the bride and groom are all dressed up. You could have a mini destination wedding too.

Post # 8
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Cory_loves_this_girl:  +1

Elope, wear your dress to the courthouse, have your 10 closest friends or whoever you want. It’s YOUR wedding day and you should not have to put up with that much disfunction.

Post # 11
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@DelishDish417:  Truthfully though, we turned our big at home wedding into a intimate destination wedding because everyone on his side wanted their say in what we did or how we were going to do it. Drove us to basically say “Hey look, we’re gonna fly over to an island in the pacific ocean and get married. If you wanna come, come. If you don’t, go swivel.” And it worked! Do whatever you wann do, and go for it! :]

 

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2018

i read the back story and im sorry that you have to deal with this situation, my in laws are not ideal either, i actually dont even talk to mine anymore.

im not saying YOU SHOULD do this lol but i would go and have a destination wedding/ honeymoon and wear the dress i already bought THEN i would send them a dvd of the photos from the trip wrapped up so they think its an invitation, then BAM.

it sounds like youre in the situation now that it doesnt matter what you do the in laws will not be contributing to your happiness in any way and that they may have something negative to say regardless of what you do. So why not have an amazing wedding overseas, get some great photos and memories and rid yourself of the headache they have caused. Of course this is assuming your partner agrees.

Post # 13
Member
2880 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@RiverBride13:  +1

If you KNOW that his family does not support your relationship or marriage — don’t invite them. Invite your family (if they are supportive) and some close friends, and have a smaller, more intimate celebration.

Post # 14
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@DelishDish417: I agree with a PP, who needs all the drama from the in-laws. Your wedding day should be about the two of you, not everyone else. I would elope and have a big party later. Cool

Post # 15
Member
12833 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you should do a very small, private DW or something somewhere.  As a guest, I would be very hesitant to commit to a wedding that was cancelled like this, especially if it involves travel.  If you don’t want to elope and want to wear your dress, invite your closest friends and supportive family to a DW..

Post # 16
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Personally I think any catchy little rhyme added to the revised STD’s and invites is just going to throw fuel to the fire.  Your close friends and family already know the story, and anyone who’s not close enough to know the story but still is on the invite list doesn’t need all the gory details. Take the high road on this one; a simple acknowledgement that the date has changed is all that you need. Don’t resort to cutesy rhymes; those just draw more attention and make people hungry for all the juicy gossip.

You could even “rebrand” the STD concept with a CTD/Change the Date announcement.

But if you include even the tamer wording you’ve sampled above, there’s a very good chance that it will be thrown back in your face at some point in the future. When you’re already dealing with a dis-harmonious family, it’s not so much about not rocking the boat as it is about not handing anyone any potential ammunition for future assaults.

Keep it simple, discreet and tasteful and you’ll get your point across to the guests without turning yourselves into gossip mill fodder or giving your future in-laws anything they can throw in your face.

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