Post # 1
Posted a few days ago about my fmil and fsil issues. see post below.
My FSIL is no longer in my wedding due to these issues. I just don’t want to be a wreck on my wedding day the way I was for my shower. Instead she is going to be doing a reading even though she isn’t speaking to me and there is still major issues.
I am faced with the situation of this: She went and bought Bridesmaid tank tops for my BMs, MOH and my mother that said their name on it. I feel like my toes were stepped on a little bit. I know it’s a great gesture, but I went and got my BM and MOH and family nice gifts already, one being a personalized tote with their name on it. I was going to do hoodies for the girls, however, my 2 best friends are very large and I didn’t want to offend or hurt anyways feelings since I probably wouldn’t be able to find something in their size, so I went with the totes.
Now he sister went and had these tiny tanks made, there is NO way they are going to fit my 2 best friends, and I don’t know what to do. She shipped them to my FI. So I’m not sure if she is expecting I include it in my gifts to give the girls at the rehearsal dinner or if she expects we are going to wear them at the bach party ( which she is not attending) but my bach part is a costume party and she knew this so I don’t really know what to with the shirts and what to make of this.
I don’t want to give them out at the rehearsal dinner because of the whole sizing thing and also I do feel like it’s not her place to be giving out gifts to my bridal party when I’m giving them things too ( she doesn’t know anyone in my bridal party, and is not friends with them). Do I send her a check for the shirts? Do I acknowledge the shirts with her? I mean she didn’t send them to me, didn’t say anything at all to me about the shirts?
Post # 3
Maybe have your FI ask his sister if she wants to give out the tanks herself? Then they would be clearly from her and not you. Other than the sizing issue, I don’t think it would be that big a deal for her to give them out at the rehearsal. I mean, kind of odd considering all the drama with her, but I don’t see how you could ‘refuse’ the gifts without making the situation worse.
Post # 4
If she gives them out then she’ll be the one looking heartless giving bigger girls something too small for them. My main worry wouldn’t be insulting the sister (who sounds horrid anyway) but stopping your besties from getting hurt or humiliated in front of a crowd.
You should protect them from that, even if you have to slap her in the face. they are worth it.
Post # 5
I think you should have your FI conveniently forget to tell you about them.
Post # 6
Have him play dumb and ask what this is that she sent (as if he didn’t already speak to you about it) and see how she responds. I would try to stay out of this unless she particuarly says something baout how she planned this with you. Also, I would rather recieve a shirt that is too small for me than be gifted with something too big. At least it seems someone thought you were smaller than you are instead of overestimating your size, to me that’s a bit more flattering. I once recieved an XL swearer as a gift when I would have bought myself a M and was quite offended!
Post # 7
I would thank her for the thought behind the gifts and tell her that you had already planned gifts for everyone. I wouldn’t read anything into her buying tanks that are way too small for some of your girls, it could have been an over sight and if it wasn’t then you need to pretend it was. Leave it at that and don’t let her side comments dampen your mood.