- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Ok bee’s this is a bit of a vent question about my FIL…. He’s a very difficult man to deal with and my DH knows this, and tells me to just “let it go like water off a ducks back” when he’s being an ass, but now he’s going too far!
1) The week of the wedding both of us had multiple people flying in and we had a house full of people to deal with (including all the wedding events packed into one week because none of my BM or female family lives here….) So basically long story short every moment was accounted for.
I guess FIL was basically screaming at FI because there were some cousins who had come in from his side and he felt we weren’t making any effort to “come hang out” with them….I’m like are you kidding me?? “We’re getting married in a couple days and I’ve got a list 500 pages long of shit to do and he’s going to call and yell at us and send crazy angry msgs because HE INVITED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WE DIDN’T EVEN WANT AT OUR WEDDING, and now expecting us to drop everything and everyone to go hang out……”
I may want to add not ONE of these people speaks English so we couldn’t even talk to them!!!! So…….That’s kind of a big factor.
So the day of our rehearsal came and we show up at the church, and everyone’s there, and his dad comes over to me (I’m already a bag of nerves and excitement) and he says…”hey im so mad at you…im so pissed off at you”…….. um excuse me? I walked away.
The priest then motioned for everyone to come inside the room and I looked at DH and said “Your dad is being a fucking asshole to me right now….. I swear to god, you better keep him away from me or Im going to snap”. FI was like what whats he doing? It was hard to say it to him because it was quiet etc… but long story short I was like you better get him under control or else…. Like who the fuck does that to a bride the night bfr her wedding? Im sick and tired of him getting away with this shit because “oh its just his personality, he’s old school Italian, he doesn’t know proper English”…. BULLSHIT, he’s been here for 30 god damn years, learn how to communicate without being an asshole….asshole! he likes to throw tantrums like a 5 year old to get his way and he does it because he knows people give in to shut him up.
2) A while ago FIL mentioned the fact that once we have kids we “need to name them according to Italian tradition…”, which is the first boy is named after the husbands father and girl after the wifes mother…. I have NO INTENTIONS of doing this! A) I don’t like his fathers name, our kid will get teased and bullied and all the nicknames they would get are the most stupid names I’ve ever heard. B) I don’t like his father so the thoughts of naming my kid after him makes me physically angry (he’s such an entitled prick), c) I personally think that a baby I carry for 9 months and I am raising gives ME THE RIGHT TO NAME MY CHILD. D) we don’t live in Italy we live in Canada, E) not his kid, not his choice
So ….. previously its just been kind of a joking “haha” kind of in fun you have ot name them____. But I guess once all the Italians came for the wedding it turned into actual DRAMA??? Like WTF?? He got all the relatives “on his side” and they were literally harassing us??? And his dad apparently behind our backs was throwing fits like “omg I’m so heartbroken, I’m literally going to die if they don’t. They have to they have to, its Italian tradition, my kids named like that, its respect, they have no respect”
Um……. Excuse me?? And now DH is actually legit stressed about it and says this is going ot be some huge battle…. Um…NO ITS NOT. Your father has 100% NO SAY in this, and he’s going to have to suck it up! I don’t give a shit what he thinks, or if he’s gonna throw tantrums. He’s not MY father and has done nothing for me to deserve such an honor. The way he’s acting is making feel even more strongly about it. I told DH when the time comes for TTC if his father stresses me out, I will not be around them. I will refuse to have them over or go over there if he even raised my blood pressure while I’m pregnant!
My question is, how many bee’s out there would comply with this whole “you don’t have a choice in the name of your child”…..especially with someone like this? Am I over-reacting? Or do you think naming your kid is something personal and impt?