(Closed) FIL issues

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Sounds like FMIL is trying to turn your wedding into her own – this is a sad old story! Yep, I think it’s rude too, and seriously, if she’s not paying for the wedding, what gives her the right to insist on anyone? I can understand helpful suggestions, but this is a bit over the top in my book.

What I would do is ask FI to sit his parents down and give them a good talk about whose job it is to do the inviting! Ask him to bring the list of guests and tell them this is IT and there’s no adding extras! Kids don’t usually get a “+1”; this is supposed to be a courteous way of telling adult guests they may bring their SO, not a way to invite extra ppl! I think I wld nip this in the bud – it might be ok if the neighbors kids come, but what comes next? If you cave and allow her to have this arrangement I would make it very clear that she is to do no more inviting and only give advice when it’s asked for! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Your FMIL sounds kind of clueless (but mostly goodhearted.) I think maybe it’s time for a tactful discussion where you (or better, your FI 🙂 tell her that you appreciate her looking out for the comfort of your guests, and that in an ideal world, you’d love to have everyone come to your wedding, but that’s not possible. You might (politely) remind her that she’s not contributing financially, and her extra guests are going on your tab. 

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