- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2008
I wasn’t sure where to post this, but I need a little advice.
I’ve been estranged from my in-laws 4 of the six years my husband and I have been together. I don’t want to go into irrelevant details so here are the things that matter. My in-laws “fell from grace” so to speak about 10 years ago. My Father-In-Law is blamed for it mostly because of his gambling.. but I’m fairly certain my Mother-In-Law did her share of damage to their finances (she has a spending problem and had a custom 1.8 million dollar home built). My Mother-In-Law comes from a very wealthy family and they don’t hide the fact they have money. FIL/MIL foreclosed on their home a few years ago, are in an unimaginable amount of debt, but doing ok I guess. They rent a two bedroom condo in a very nice area, have a decent vehicle, etc..
After we got married I didn’t see my in-laws for about a year and a half. After the wedding I found out my husband has 13k in credit debt he didn’t know about. Turned out his parents had taken out credit cards in his name and maxed them out. This has since been taken care of, but was the reason for my last break. I couldn’t handle it anymore. In October of last year was the first time I saw my in-laws because my husband was being deployed and I thought maybe it was time.. Since my husband has been gone (Nov-now) I’ve seen MIL/FIL once (husband came home for a few weeks) and speak with them only through email to update them on their son.
Recently my BIL had a new baby (not close with BIL either.. BIL doesn’t really like anyone 🙂 I thought it was a good idea to send a gift so I emailed my Father-In-Law (who notified me of the birth) for BIL’s address. He sent me an email this morning containing it. A few moments later, sent another email with the same information in a different way. Just now I recieved another email with the same information (all have different spacing and words so he actually wrote them). I emailed him back to thank him.
Other signs I think there’s something wrong, when my Father-In-Law can’t get a hold of my husband he calls and calls and calls. After 20+ calls in a 30 minute span he starts calling my cell phone. This will go on for awhile and we’ll end up with 40 missed call each. When my husband calls him back and asks if there’s something wrong he just wanted to say hi.
I’m concerned.. well, I’ve been concerned. I was thinking about talking to my SIL about it, but I’m not sure if it’s appropiate (she’s the only one I feel comfortable around) or I’ll keep ignoring it. I guess what I’m asking is if anyone has any experience and knows maybe what’s going on and how I should handle the situation?’
EDIT: My husband knows about the situation, it’s been going on for years. They’ve spoken with my in-laws but the situation is minimized and danced around.