Post # 1
My FIL is paying for a reception in the groom’s hometown which I am very grateful for. My question is do you think that the bride and groom have/should have say over picking things- venue, food etc or should it be treated like a party that we are invited to attend? I know if my family were throwing the reception I would have full say, but my FH is not as assertive so I’m not sure if we will be asked for input.
To clarify- wedding is in India and they are throwing a reception so there is some event in the US for their friends/our friends etc. This is the only reception.
Also, one more question- I am vegetarian they are not- is it impolite to ask about food choice or is it their decision?
Post # 3
Most definatly you should have a say. You should ask them what the budget is and what are the most important things to them and also ask their imput on you top 3 choices for things but you should be plannign the day. You should also be polite and listent ot hier ideas as well as include all fo thier guests.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2008 - Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles
Is it a valima? My fiance’s family is throwing their own reception the week after ours, which is customary in Pakistani culture. The reception is totally their own and while they have been sweet enough to ask for our opinion and input, I’ve completely left the decision making up to them. So we’re basically treating it like a party where we’re the guests of honor, which thrills me because I don’t want to try planning another event 🙂
Edit: Oh I’m not sure I read your post correctly. Do you mean that’s a second reception or the *only* reception you’ll be having? If it’s the only reception, my advice would be different. Obviously, whoever is paying should have some say, but the bride and groom definitely should also.
Post # 5
you should get a say in the menu if you’re vegetarian. but if it’s in the groom’s hometown and they are paying, they are the hosts. i don’t think this necessarily means that you’re planning it or that you’re involved with the budget (we haven’t shared the budget with my FI’s parents, as my parents are hosting).
i would talk to your FIL though to find out what their expectations are and to tell them what yours (and your family’s) are — i’m sure you’ll be able to a compromise that suits everyone.
Post # 6
Well, you say the reception is for both their friends and your friends. So I would think that it would be appropriate for you to help with the planning, and have some input. And of course it should be factored into the menu choices that you are a vegetarian. Really there is so much fantastic vegetarian food anymore that having some meatless entree options shouldn’t be a problem, as long as you get a good caterer. Do you know who will actually do the planning? Is it your FIL, or will he hire a planner, or is this the wicked SMIL situtation? I would call and try to get involved. I don’t think you can probably count on your FI much, especially if he is not very assertive. My FI is actually pretty assertive, but as far as the reception planning goes, he just doesn’t have many opinions. And he would really rather leave it to someone else. Hey, maybe this is a good way for you and wicked SMIL to bond a little! She might not be as bad as you think.