FIL vent – calling me spoiled

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@rand04: uh – i would be getting my FI to make a call. he doesn’t need to say that you know, or that anyone told you; just that he’s heard that they aren’t happy with the way planning is going and that since you are paying for such a large portion of the wedding, including more than him, it would be very unfair for people to assume you’re spoiled.

then he can point out that you’ve been doing such a great job with the costs that you’re under budget at this point etc. 

if they’re smart they’ll take the hint and shut up and be thankful that they weren’t called out in front of anyone. if they’re not they’ll stamp their feet and demand to know who spilled. he shouldn’t even answer them, just repeat that he wants them to feel involved and happy about the wedding, but that any feelings that you are somehow spoiled or ungrateful would be wrong. 

 

Post # 4
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

If I were your husband, I’d call and mention that you BOTH heard a rumor that you wanted to confirm, because it’s so ugly and untrue you can’t believe that was what was actually said. It does give plausible deniability – for all I know, the brother-in-law likes to cause trouble and see people squirm and took an otherwise benign comment to twist into something hurtful.

His parents can then either recognize that you -heard- what was said and offer an apology of some sort, or they can say, “Oh, we never said that.” But it will make them think far more carefully next time.

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