FIL wants to bring the "other woman" 5 years later.

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should FIL's gf be invited?
    Yes : (109 votes)
    89 %
    No : (7 votes)
    6 %
    Maybe, it depends. Comment why : (2 votes)
    2 %
    You're screwed : (5 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4212 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    They’ve been together for a long time, you should invite her. Just talk to everyone and make them understand that they are to be on “party manners” and they don’t have to sit together. If anyone involved is not able to be an adult about it, they’re free not to come. That’s how we had to deal with the situation for many awkward family shennanigans including divorced parents. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MrsPhilly:  I’m not sure what the proper ediquette would be but my first reaction would be no, absolutely not! do not invite the other woman…but after reading and thinking about it i would say yes invite her…shes a part of FIL’s life and years have gone by, plus if MIL is bringing a date, then why not! She can be there with her new man and not even pay attention to the other woman…but on the other hand..I would ask MIL how she would feel about it…because in all reality, FI’s parents’ new partners arent really important…just his parents..sorry I keep jumping from one side to another lol…that is a hard decision…good luck 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee

    If your MIL is allowed to bring a random date, then I definitely feel that your FIL should be allowed to bring his long-term live-in partner.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7070 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    She should definitely be invited IMO.

    Post # 7
    Member
    830 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MrsPhilly:  I say invite the girlfriend. Surely your fiance can ask his parents to put aside their past and feelings toward each other for the one day that happens to be the most important day of his life?

    Post # 8
    Member
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MrsPhilly:  She is his live in partner.  Regardless of how she may or may not have started out, he has chosen her.  They are a social unit and must be invited together. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3928 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @MrsPhilly:   If MIL brings a date, then FIL definitely gets to bring his GF.  At some point all involved (FIL, MIL)  need to look beyond past hurt and celebrate the day of your wedding.   The day is about you, your future, and your joy.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If MIL is bringing a date AND it’s been 5 years, I think FIL should be able to bring his GF!

    Post # 11
    Member
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @JulietFoxtrot:  This.

    You can’t allow MIL to bring a randomer and ignore FIL’s long term partner, especially as you have already met her!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2720 posts
    Sugar bee

    Let him bring her. How would you feel if you FH was invited to a wedding and you weren’t but his sibling’s flavor of the week was invited? It would feel crappy.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6503 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would absolutely invite your FIL’s long term, live in girl friend.

    Make sure to seat them on opposite sides of the room.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think etiquette would stipulate you should, given she is a live-in partner of a number of years. And also given your MIL is going to bringing a date as well. My view is that either both parties should be allowed to bring plus ones, or neither are. 

    FI’s parents are divorced (messy, bitter, adultery was involved) and we decided from the outset that his father wouldn’t be allowed to bring the other woman (who is still married, mind you). Part of this is because we know his mum wouldn’t be bringing a date, and it would just be too traumatic for everyone involved. As it turns out his dad isn’t coming to the wedding, so I guess that solved our dilemma!

    Post # 16
    Member
    1102 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @MrsPhilly:  If his father has been with that women for so long it would be very rude not to invite her … its their job as parents to play nice for big evens (births weddings and when people are sick or pass away) thats on them to act like grown ups no matter how un happy they are with each other 

     

    those people love him and if its even more rude if you allow her a date but not him if you dont let him bring a date she should not either 

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