FIL wants to surprise his wife with a wedding

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@texasbee:  Isn’t there a less flashy way you could help FIL do something special for his new wife- to celebrate thier new marriage?

Obviously I don’t know them personally, but planning a short overnight, a special evening even with just you and DH and them?

It doesn’t seem smart to steer them into more debt- espcially when those closest (family) won’t be able to attend.

Post # 5
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

Do a ceremony for a 10 year anniversary when hopefully they will be out of debt and more family can attend. 

Post # 6
Member
3935 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@texasbee:   How nice for him to want her to have a wedding – but please convince him that she may enjoy the event a whole lot more if she can choose what to wear!!  And get her hair done, to say nothing of looking forward to the event.  Surprises are nice but a surprise wedding reception seems a bit odd to me.  

Sorry – just re-read original post – she will have a few weeks notice…. nevermind….

Post # 7
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@texasbee:  Maybe find out something SHE wants- especially because she is so independent.  I could see him making the wrong move (even if it was a nice gesture)- and then her leaving it’s “wrong”!!

Post # 8
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Personally, I don’t think I would like not having much of a say in the wedding planning process. While she’d still get a few weeks to figure out dress (which would still mean she’d have to buy it off the rack and likely pay extra for rush alterations), I think that a wedding is for 2 people and should be planned by both. That might just be me being old fashioned though. I’d personally try to steer any of my male friends away from doing this so my recommendation would be that you do the same for him. 

Hope it works out well whatever happens! 

Post # 9
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think it’s sweet of him that he wants to surprise her but with their finances and not being able to have family there, an actual wedding might not be the best idea. I agree with you, I would gently nudge him into the direction of planning a nice celebration on a smaller scale. How about a weekend at the spa for just the two of them? There are places that offer couples massages and romantic dinners, all included in the package. They could get all dressed up and have a photographer take pictures too. 

If you have a good relationship with your SMIL, you could give her a hint that her husband is trying to do something nice for her to celebrate their marriage and ask her what she’d like? 

Post # 11
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@texasbee:  Her grandkids have to write her secret letters about how much they miss her? That’s so sad. 

I think it’s a good idea so mention renewing her vows in that castle and then see how she reacts. If she hates it, her husband could always surprise her with a romantic weekend getaway – who doesn’t like those? 🙂 

Post # 13
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@texasbee:  That’s a brilliant idea! 🙂 Too bad you’re too late to do it on St. Martin’s day (that’s tomorrow, btw), it’s the greatest wine-related celebration I know of. I don’t know about Germany but it’s a big deal in Slovenia. Have a look around tomorrow and if you see people eating goose or duck and drinking wine, you’ll know why 🙂 

 

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