Post # 1
I’ve been at a part time job for about a year now and have never had a problem with anyone. I go in, do my job, chat with people, go home. It’s not crazy stressful and other than the occasional spat I’ve never had problems with anyone.
Starting I’d say around November one of my female coworkers has grown increasingly hostile towards me. The first few times she got aggressive I told her that if she has a problem with me she should find a supervisor. I didn’t say anything confrontational, and let it drop.
The next time it happened I immediately went and talked to a supervisor who told me “Oh that’s just how she is, she has a temper, just ignore her.” OK, fine I ignored her and nothing changed.
Last night it happened again, in front of customers and my coworkers. She was loud, in my face and clearly trying to intimidate me with “alpha female” tactics. I yet again sought out a supervisor instead of feeding into the confrontation and she stayed away from me the rest of the night.
This has now reached the point where I feel I need to either talk to the regional supervisor or the HR department. I do not go to work to be bullied. I’m nervous though, because the company has recently been firing employees like crazy, and I don’t want them thinking I’m a liability by filing a formal complaint. I have never had to do this before and am not frivolous about making complaints. I just really feel as though I cannot continue to work with this woman if she is not reprimanded and stays the hell away from me. Not sure what to do here.
ETA: I do not want to discuss this with the woman any further. I’ve tried to be nice to her to no avail. At this point I feel it’s not my job to deal with her crazy.
Post # 3
@KatyElle: So sorry you have to deal with such drama at work. I advise that you do take it with the higher ups if possible, but I understand that it can turn into a hassle.
I’m actually going through something similiar. I started working at my job in February. One of the girls that I work with only on the weekends is constantly rude with me. Very snippy and telling me what I SHOULD be doing. One, she’s not my boss. Certain things that she askes me to do is something that has never been taught. But instead of saying “well, let me show you..” her response was along the lines of “well, R isn’t going to be here forever and I won’t be either. So that just leaves you.” But her tone was unacceptable. I didn’t say anything to anyone and just left it at that. Unfortunately, my weekend to work is tomorrow and I can only imagine what sort of problems will occur. If it does continue, I will be contacting my unit director to put an end to it. I will NOT be talked down on. I’ve brought it up with a few people and they told me that’s the way she is as well. Sorry, not towards me. I don’t care how long you’ve been working or who you think you are.
What cracks me up is that she expects me to know things in the matter of 1.5 months when she’s been there for 5+ years and is JUST learning.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to thread jack, but I wish you the best of luck in this situation. It’s beyond ridiculous. Everyone should just want to go to work, do what they have to, then leave. I guess we’ll never escape the drama.
Post # 4
I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Work is such a huge part of our lives and having to be bullied while there is unacceptable.
I would check if HR has passed any sort of harrassment policy, I know that a lot of work places are JUST putting these into place recently. If so, I would address the situation as the policy has suggested.
If there is no policy, I would write a formal letter to HR explaining the situation and requesting to meet with someone in person to discuss the situation.
I hope all the best for you.
Post # 5
@KatyElle: If you complain to HR, and are fired within a certain time frame; you can sue the pants off the employer. Retalitory firing is not accepted.
Post # 6
I’d go to H.r. I’m dealing with a passive aggressive coworker issue myself (have since nov also) but didn’t start addressing it until jan. Also the liability (in the eyes of the company) is with this woman, not you. Because is she isn’t being aggressive towards you she’ll do it to someone else. She’s the one with the track record for being a bully.
Post # 7
You’ve taken all the appropriate steps up until this point- not engaging her, seeking a supervisor when she behaves in this manner. However, now she is bringing this in front of customers? That’s a huge red flag to me.
I would check your HR’s policy and call HR to discuss.
Also- document EVERYTHING, dates/times/specific words used, etc. It’s illegal to fire someone for filing a complaint. You need to stand up for yourself.
Post # 8
I’d go to H.r. I’m dealing with a passive aggressive coworker issue myself (have since nov also) but didn’t start addressing it until jan. Also the liability (in the eyes of the company) is with this woman, not you. Because if she isn’t being aggressive towards you she’ll do it to someone else. She’s the one with the track record for being a bully.
Post # 9
I am an HR professional. I would encourage you to speak to your HR Department. We typically always encourage employees to work with their direct supervisor first as many times these issues can be handled by the Supervisor. However, it seems you’ve done that and only received temporary relief of the problem. So the next step in dealing with a problem of this nature is to notify HR. Your HR should take your concerns seriously and deal with them promptly. I always encouage employees to follow up with me after they’ve made a complaint. I cannot tell them what specific actions have been taken with the offending employee but I can at least let them know when it was addressed so that they can inform me immediately if there is a reaccurance of the bad behavior. So that being said… file your formal complaint (in writing). And follow up to find out if the complaint has been addressed. Hopefully, that will take care of the issue. If you work for a law abiding, ethical company they WILL NOT retaliate for this. They likely already have a Problem Solving Policy/Process in place. If for some reason they do retaliate against you, there are legal actions you can take. But I’ll believe the best in them and say you should not have to deal with that. Good luck… and know that you are by no means the first employee to have to go to HR. It’s their job to take care of these types of issues.
Post # 10
@rachaelrobin: wtf…sorry. I posted from my bb.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone… unfortunately I’ll have to wait until Monday to make this awkward call. I really hate when situations are unresolved.
Post # 12
Def report her! And make sure to be as detailed as possible. If I were you I’d do this:
1. Write up a DETAILED list on incidents of when you’ve been harassed by this coworker. Dates, words, actions, witnesses. For example: On Saturday April 2nd, X said to me “blah blah blah.” This was done in frotn of coworker Y and a customer. I then spoke about it with Supervisor Z.” Be as detailed as possible.
2. Call and speak with someone. Get their name, direct phone number, and e-mail.Explain the situation and discuss the incidents you wrote up. Having this written up will give you a script and ensure that you don’t forget anything.
3. Send a follow up e-mail detailing every incident of harassement from this employee. In the e-mail make sure to say “As per our conversation earlier today…”. You want to make sure you have a paper trail of all your coorespondence with HR.
4. After this has been done, speak with your surpervisor and let her know you reported your colleague. Explain that after the most recent indicident you felt the harassement had gone to far and wanted to speak with HR.
Best of luck!
Post # 13
Yes report her! Remain logical (which is sounds like you work from logic anyway) and present your facts. All the PP have given you great tips on how to do this.
I just want to say that you shoud never take the excuse of “Oh hahaha that’s just how that person is, she has a temper, just ignore her.” Not with anyone in life professional or personal.
I think that is such a BS excuse for people’s bad behavior. It in no way holds the offender responsible for their actions. Seriously when someone gives an excuse like this for someone’s behavior I hear “Oh.. yes… She is a raging bitch. Tolerate it to make her happy so we don’t have to deal with her.”
Post # 14
I concur with @PunkinLover:‘s advice. The unfortunate reality that you should be aware of however, is despite well -meaning advice that you have grounds for a lawsuit if you’re fired, many companies count on the fact that most hourly paid employees cannot afford to launch a suit.
Post # 15
@julies1949: And many times larger companies won’t even show up to court and you win by default. 🙂
Post # 16
@julies1949: erm, I work part time to get out of the house for a few hours a week because other than that I’m a SAHM. My husband has a salaried job, and we could afford a lawyer if we needed one, I’m just trying to avoid a bad reference for when I want to go back into the work force full time. No one likes an uppity employee, but I feel this is has become something I shouldn’t have to deal with anymore. So no one should assume we can’t hire counsel…