Weddingbee boards

I'm sure you guys are out there. Talk about your wedding planning here!

--Jehnel

Hi All!

 I'm full Filipino, and Fi is Methodist, and my parents want a full out Filipino wedding.  So, we're trying to keep everyone comfortable by using songs in the ceremony that are used by both religions.  And not doing the offering of flowers to Mary, to the objections of my parents.  

Speaking of parents, did yours tell you certain Filipino superstitions? Like...

1. Not trying your dress on before the wedding.  I did, and my mom was berated by her sisters.  Good thing I did though, since it needed alterations!

2.  Closed toed shoes for the ceremony and putting coins in your shoes?  

CONGRATS NiftyBa!

There are a few 'versions' of the money dance out there...

1.  MOH and BM collect money in baskets so guests 'pay' to dance with the bride or groom

2.  Guests pin money onto your dress and your husbands (!) tux or barong or whatever he is decked out in 

3.  You can make a faux sash out of the money and guests fold the bills into rings and attatch it to the sash.

4. 'Curacha' style where someone 'captures' the bride or groom (w/ a napkin or just holds them, puts them in a chair etc.) and people pay for that person to release them.

On another board a good idea (if you have time!) is to put out little pin cushions on each table with a note explaining the money dance to individuals who do not know.  Its also a Southern Tradition called the 'apron dance' 

Hope that helped!  

Hi, I'm full and my fiance is caucasion.  We're only doing the unity candle.  Do any of you have suggestions for make-up artists in the Los Angeles area?  Also, besides TFC magazines, where else do you look for hair and make-up inspirational pics?

Mestiza here (half caucasion). My FH is full on caucasion, but he and the GM's are wearing barongs. We're having a lakeside wedding on the beach and it just felt right... They look darn good in em too!

i am filipino..proud to say born and raised in the philippines but move here 5 years.My FI is caucasian and a redhead too.We are having a traditional filipino wedding without  the money dance and 8-10 sets of godparents (just 2 sets).

The only filipino tradition that i am having a hard time dealing with the groom should not see the bride before the wedding.We are getting married in winter here in colorado and i think it will be better if we do our pictorials before the sun sets.

i am amazed there is a lot of filipina bees! 

We served lumpia at our rehearsal dinner. It was more of a low key BBQ than a formal rehearsal dinner.

here's a pic of the guys in their barongs...

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JillBee - nice picture of men in barong Tagalog!

I'm a Filipina, born and raised in Manila. Fiance is American.

Question: He really wants to wear a barong, and he's worn one before when we went to a wedding in the Philippines. So I figured if he wears a barong, his Best Man, male secondary sponsors (we're not having ushers/groomsmen and having the candle, veil, and cord instead), and the ring bearer should also wear barongs. Should the fathers and grandfather wear them as well? I'm just thinking of how it would look if the entire group takes a picture (bride, groom, matron of honor, best man, secondary sponsors, ring bearer, flower girls, and parents). 

I'd appreciate your comments :)

I'm half filipino and my fiancé is Mexican, however neither one of us is Catholic so we're skipping the candle, veil and cord and we're not doing sponsors.  We do have a ginormous wedding party (29 people!) in true filipino style and we are having readings in the ceremony and some stuff from Goldilocks bakery at the dessert table.  We're putting a variety of ethnic candies in our favors.

I'm not engaged or married [yet ], but I was wondering the same thing a few ladies were also wondering. Is the cord, veil & coin part of the ceremony a FILIPINO thing or a CATHOLIC thing? My boyfriend [we've decided on marrying each other already, but we're waiting a few more years] is not Catholic, he's a nascent Buddhist [just starting]. His parents are Baptist, but he's told me that we could do whatever I want for the wedding. He told me that whatever negative comments his parents or his family said about the wedding being Catholic to just forget it. We should be able to do what we want & if I want a straight Catholic wedding, then I'll get it regardless of what anyone says.

It was sweet & all, but I'm the mediator in life [I guess that's the Libra in me. Haha]. I don't want to offend either families, but I have a feeling his family will be more offended than mine [I'm full Pinay, btw].

So I was wondering, is the cord, veil & coin a Filipino or a Catholic tradition? If they are Filipino traditions, then I can totally incorporate it in the wedding & explain to his family they're Filipino wedding traditions.

[I'm thinking the coin is because I remember reading they did that in Spain & other Spanish-speaking/Spanish-influenced countries.]

While those traditions (veil, cord, candle) have their roots in Spanish Catholicism, they have been embraced, transformed, and adapted wherever Spain planted its flag -- in the Philippines and throughout Mexico and Latin America.

 FI and I are both Filipino American (I was born here, him there) and while we're not having a Catholic ceremony (he's divorced, and it was a marriage in the Church, so we can't, even though both of us are Catholic, but not conservative or totally devout), we're still doing all of those traditions in our Protestant/nondenominational ceremony because we don't believe them to be rooted purely in Catholicism, but in the traditions of the Filipino and Filipino American wedding. They're cultural symbols that represent the core values and traditions that many Filipinas/os share and take comfort in: a pledge to take care of one another, financial and emotional (arrhae), protection as a couple (the veil) by God's love and love for each other, a tie that can never be broken (the cord) and the unity of two families (candle). That's how I interpret these rituals. I've seen them done in so many Filipino weddings: Protestant as well as nondenominational weddings, and in one wedding in which a friend served as an officiant (I won't even go into what the Aunties muttered about that one! But it was beautiful!).

So yes, yes, please do the cord, veil and candle ceremony! I feel like it's a connection that I have with all of the women in my family in an unbroken line for many generations before me, Catholic or not Catholic. (I was surprised and delighted to discover that my grandparents were married by a Methodist minister in Manila in a kind of shotgun ceremony! And many of my family members belong to a Filipino American Presbyterian church, and NOT doing the cord, candle, and veil would be unthinkable!).

Thanks, kusinera! That was a great explanation. Very detailed & you provided a great argument for anyone wondering if they should or shouldn't do them. I'm convinced! Great job again.

Thanks, owlsrock! Hope my was helpful for anyone hesitant to do the cord, veil, coins and candle, esp. if it's because they might have Catholic connotations.

luckyinluv, i think it's wonderful that you're doing the folk dances. We're going to have my friend's troupe dance as well. I know friends who have taken it to the next level and danced tinikling at their wedding! I don't know if we're up to that, but stay tuned!

 I'm also really glad that you're doing the money dance. We are definitely doing that too because if we didn't we would disappoint a lot of our family and friends. I get really irritated and offended by people who think the money dance is tacky (lots of posts on this site and others say this). But tacky, really, is in the eye of the beholder. It all depends on your cultural traditions. Many people also think that going to a store and making a big list of gifts that you want (i.e., a registry!) is tackier than a money dance (but we're doing it, because people, especially Filipinos raised in the United States, totally expect that too, and I really want my All Clad). So really, people need to lay off of other people's cultural traditions! It's a great way for you to greet all of your guests and dance and have a nice moment with them. It's not really about the money at all, but about a small token of good luck (though we all hope for an uncle to pin a $100 bill on our veil!)