- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
They all seem excited about the wedding but they are constantly trying to change my ideas or putting what I say down, it’s like they are more important 🙁 and let me just preface this by saying none of them are helping money wise (which is A-OKAY because I always expected to pay for my own wedding because I want the final say in everything) And I also want to say none of this is a huge deal but with my wedding being 3 years away I’m not able to plan for much and it feels like they are taking the few things I have now away.
First FMIL hates that I am going to have a July wedding and takes every chance to tell me because it is the hottest month of the year. Well it works great with my schedule and this is my wedding and should be convient for me and it shouldn’t even matter because everything is inside and FI could care less about when the wedding is. Next she hates the fact that I am probably going to have fake flowers and everyone is entiled to their own likes and dislikes but like the July thing she brings it up constantly. I can’t afford real flowers and in my mind fake are better then cheap real. I have thought about dipping into other portions of the wedding budget but I don’t want to because flowers aren’t that important to me.
Next FSIL, we were talking about my dress and what I liked and saw myself in. I want white even though I am in no way a virgin and she said I was going to be talked about especially if I wear a veil, um this isn’t 1912! Well she then proceeded to take over the entire converstation describing what she wants her outfit to look like (she has no role in the wedding). Apparently she would like a white (so she can wear white but I can’t?) suite (I hate white suites but I know it is her choice) My thing is my wedding isn’t going to be super formal (FI will probably wear a button up shirt, tie and black slacks, I will be ver lucky if I get him in a jacket) She is going to stick out like a sore thumb with her white suite, purple vest and turquoise tie, I’m not trying to sound spoiled but I hate picturing someone else in white, even though it is a suite and if she does show up wearing it I will suck it up and focus on my day and what it is about. And she always has to change my ideas, for my guest book I want mad libs with a space at the bottom for the quests to write a note, like advice or good wishes, her quote “The extra space it stupid and I won’t put it in there” Umm who said you were even making them? I wanted to make them with FI as fun wedding project. We didn’t even finish talking about my dress.
Last FBIL, I want to have a unity cross instead of unity candle because I like what the cross stands for and do believe in God and Jesus. Well he is an athiest (I am fine with this, I don’t push my veiws on him and really don’t care what he believes in) and said that it was stupid to do a cross because we are not overly religous. Just because we don’t go to church often doesn’t mean we aren’t religous and can’t have unity cross to hang in our home. He thinks we should do a different design even though he knows how much I want a unity cross. He wasn’t even part of the conversation, I was talking to FMIL and he just butted in!
I know none of these are outragous but I think it’s the fact that they all use the word stupid when it comes to my ideas about my wedding that FI and I are paying for, And I know I should stand up to them but they have such strong personalities and I am very passive. These are the majority of the things we have really talked about so far and they have tried to change them all. I don’t want them to love all my ideas but they could be a little more respectful of them and I hate how they push me out of my wedding talk. Ugh ok rant over, hopefully once we really start planning they won’t have as many opionions about my ideas. Any advice on how to deal for a passive person who hates confrontation? I really would like to figure out how to handle them once the real planning begins.