(Closed) FIL’s are Muslim and they don’t approve of my dress. What should I do?

posted 6 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

Do you have pictures of the dress, so we can see how much it really shows?

Post # 4
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If it isn’t an Islamic ceremony (and especially considering you already had one), wear your original dress. Can you post what your dress looks like? I’m wondering how “conservative” your dress is – maybe if you add a bolero or wrap or something for the ceremony you and your family would feel more comfortable. Will your family be there? What do they think about everything?

Post # 5
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What if you wore a bolero for the ceremony and just the strapless for the reception? Would they still be upset with this?

I think ultimately it’s your wedding. I feel like most wedding dresses are very modest, even if they’re strapless. I probably would just wear the strapless dress and be happy in it. You’ve already had your nikah for them.

Post # 6
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow.  I admire you for putting up with this.  No guy could keep me stiking around if his family treated me like that.

I say wear what you want, especially if Fiance supports you wearing what you want.  If he disapporves, I’d think that’s a huge red flag and think you’d need to reconsider things.

I am definitly in favor of not catering to religious people.  If wearing somehting that makes you happy bothers them, that is their problem, not yours.  If you keep giving in, they’ll just want more, such as you already said they want you to convert.  I mean it is a wedding now, but you’re singing up for life.

Stay true to you, if you can’t than you need to get out of this situation.

Post # 7
662 posts
Busy bee

I married a Muslim the first time around. I had a beautiful spaghetti strap dress and then I had a seamstress create a cropped jacket for me out of matching satin. You could try that as it worked really well for me. She made me a veil that covered my hair too for the ceremony as we had it in the mosque (I’m atheist so it made sense to let him have his religious ceremony)


My unsolicited advice to you is to stay strong in who you are as a person. Don’tgive too much to his family especially when he says you don’t have to. Wearing a hijab most definitely changes your life. Not in a bad or good way but it does change. 


I wish you luck girlie!!

Post # 8
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think it is pretty obvious that you have put a lot of thought and effort into your relationship with your in laws. At some point  you are going to need to be true to yourself though. It might be with wearing the dress or going to your own church, but at some point you need to be the person the your Fiance fell in love and be true to your own beliefs. you deserve that and your Fiance should want that for you as well.

As far as the dress goes, I would wear some type of jacket over it for the ceremony and then take it off at the reception.


Post # 9
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you are really that worried about offending them, find a cute bolero to cover your shoulders, but really truly, I think you need to do what makes you happy and I love that your Fiance is in your corner. As much as you’re going so above and beyond to respect your FIL’s family and culture, please remember that respect is a two way street. They need to respect that you are not of their culture, and that you have different norms and moral behaviours/attitudes than they do and that’s a-okay. You respect their values when in their environment, and they also need to return the courtesy for you.

Having different cultures is a beautiful and wonderful thing, but learning to repect each other’s cultures and what each entails is integral from both sides of the coin.

Post # 11
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

maybe just cover up with a shaw for the ceremony and do pictures and the reception without!  Could be a good compromise??

Post # 14
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It doesn’t sound like they’re willing to compromise… I would just do what makes you happy, especially if Fiance is on your side.  You need to draw the line in the sand NOW before you get married or they will continue to try to control your life, especially when you have kids (if you are planning to).  Make their boundaries clear now.  Good luck.

Post # 15
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

In that case, you def need to wear your dress how you wll be happiest.  It seems like it’s his sister who has issues and it also seems like you’ll never make her happy no matter what you cover up.  You cover your arms, she sees panty lines, you cover your panty lines she sees ankles.

As long as you have your FI’s support, then you shouldn’t worry about anything else. 

Any bride will tell you that someone is going to be offended by something regarding your wedding no matter what, regardless of religion or culture and that you can’t please everyone so you might as well please yourself.

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