Post # 1
I wanted to have a really laid back, casual bbq at our ceremony site after our rehearsal. There is a lake, canoes, swimming, etc, and a lot of people are staying at cabins, so i thought it would be chill and fun.
The FILs were afraid it would rain, so they rented out a fancy restaurant at a nearby hotel (where I could not afford to get married!) They are inviting 80 people to the rehearsal dinner, sending out invites and RSVPs and all. I just know that the rehearsal dinner will be way nicer than my wedding will be! I went along with it at first because they are paying for it, but it just keeps getting worse. It’s not what I wanted at all. :/
Post # 3
I would tell them how you feel. Hopefully they would understand. does your fi know how you feel. I understand about FILs getting carried away, mine went a little nuts. ( and our wedding isn’t till 12) I was nice and honest with them and they backed off.
Post # 4
I had the same exact problem. Tears work. It was totally out of control and the complete opposite of what we wanted, and I just lost it. So they cancelled it. But then I felt bad. So our solution ultimately was have your fancy-schmancy party, just not for the rehearsal dinner. We’re having the small, casual, rehearsal dinner we want, and the night before, FILs are throwing the big party they want.
Post # 5
We had the same problem!!! FMIL booked this crazy nice hotel that was just sooooo opposite of the casual thai restaurant I wanted. I finally talked to her about it and she completely understood and now we’re having it at a local yacht club that’s very relaxed and just having a bbq. Whew. I think being honest and just saying “This is fancier than our wedding and we’re really not comfortable with it” goes a looooong way.
Post # 6
I’m glad I’m not the only one with this problem! I told them that I was concerned about the wedding not being up to par with the rehearsal dinner. Their idea of compromise is to have “BBQ style” catering. It will still be at the fancy place with all the fanciness. 🙁
If you can’t beat em, join em, right? I am just going to go with the flow.
Post # 7
good for you for taking this so well hoosierbee, I don’t think I would be as nice! Did you specifically say you were worried about the grandness of the venue they chose? That you were hoping for something a little more down to earth? If you can let it just roll off your shoulder though then go for it, why stress yourself right?