Weddingbee boards

So, my FIL's live about .4 miles away from my fi and while I absolutely LOVE them and feel very lucky to have them as FILs, something bugs me about how close they are or maybe it's just their personalities. They drop by unexpectedly. For example, right now, fi is out picking up couches with a friend and the doorbell rang, and its FFIL. Who is great, but still.. I wasn't expecting him and don't honestly really want him over right now, but he's doing work on the house in the other room and I guess I'm just supposed to be "okay" with it. I kind of hate it. Honestly, I would hate it if it were my own parents too I think, but it's even worse that it's his. I know I need to talk to fi about this but he doesn't see it as much of a problem and thinks his parents really respect our boundaries. However there have been occasions where his dad drops by to return something, and recently he rang the bell and we were having sex and when we didn't answer he just came in and left fi's coffee mug on the table and shouted out that it was there. It drives me NUTS! (fi wasn't happy about that either). I would like a little bit of privacy and I don't know how to say something without offending my fi or his parents. I know it's only going to get worse though as I haven't even been living here and it's bugging me, but now I'm officially living here and I don't know what to do!  Is anyone in the same situation, or had to handle a similar situation?? Please advise!! 

Whoa! That is rough! Do you keep the door unlocked or do the FILs have a set of keys? You should definitely talk to your FI about this because you will just start resenting it more and more.  I also think issues with the ILs should be 'nipped in the bud' ASAP to keep bad habits from becoming routine.  It'll be harder to stop them if you let it go on for years.

They have had the keys for years, and I definitely have no say in that. They also just told my fi to make me a copy of their keys so I can drop by any time too, whether they are home or not, use their pool, etc. They are great so it's not about that and I really don't want to offend them at all. FMIL actually usually really does respect boundaries and never stops by without calling- its more FFIL because he's always helping out around the house, etc. I can see how it wasn't a big deal when my fi was alone but I definitely need to talk to him (fi) about talking to them about it. It's really annoying! I'm going to bring it up with him this week, and maybe in our premarital therapy :) I think it's an important issue! Thanks for all your advice... haha, yes kind of like everybody loves raymond, except they are a lot nicer in-laws! 

All of my husband's family live within about a mile of us.  But there has always been a 'call before you come over' understanding anytime we/they need to drop by.  I think it's a pretty easy courtesy to maintain.

Like others have said, maybe just have your fi have a conversation with his folks, nothing to long or involved is necessary, just something along the lines of being newlyweds and wanting some more privacy. The sooner you set boundaries with family, the easier it becomes to maintain down the road.  If you let things go on too long, it will drive you nuts, and let them think it's ok!

Is it possible that your FH knows when his dad is going to stop by but just forgets to tell you?  You said that he mainly does it when he is doing work on the house.  I'm guessing someone had to tell his Dad that there was a problem to begin with and that you needed help fixing it.  I feel like whenever my family has come over to help us with house stuff, we kind of expected it because we knew that we had asked for their help.