(Closed) FIL’s not involved at all

posted 11 years ago in Family
Post # 3
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I have the same situation with my FIL’s not wanting to have anything to do with the wedding planning, but I don’t think it’s unusual or odd, and I am extremely thankful that they don’t make me feel like I’m stepping on their toes by making decisions without their input.  Typically the bride and bride’s side have the most say in wedding planning, so I haven’t found it all that weird that his parents have stayed out of it.  My FIL’s have also been quite distant as long as I’ve known them, so I think it would be weird for them to step in now and start telling me how to do things.  Maybe your FIL’s just feel like they would be interfering with you and your family’s planning if they started getting too involved?  Have you asked them for their opinion or help, or are you just waiting for them to come and offer it?

Maybe my situation is different from yours, but personally I’m finding that the more opinions you have to deal with when wedding planning, the less likely you are to get the wedding that you want.  I am *so* glad that his parents just stay out of it and let us plan things the way we would like.  I know that if we ask them for help, they will probably help, but I’m glad they’re not insisting on a specific type of flower or colour scheme or cake flavour!

Post # 4
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

It may not necessarily mean that they are uninterested. They may just be standing at a distance since they are the groom’s parents and don’t want to step on the brides/family’s toes. If you really want them involved, you can assign them a task. Mr. Snow Pea’s mom was very active in her own daughter’s wedding but with me, she stood back because she told me she didn’t want to insult my mom or seem like a control freak. So she waited until I asked her to do something and she was very happy and content with that. Otherwise, as smarl said, the less opinions the better.

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