Post # 1
Plus sized bride here (size 22). I got my final fitting done Saturday with my mom (size 8-10) and my aunt (size 20).
I was trying to lose weight for the wedding so I bought my dress at my current size and figured we could tailor it down to what I needed. I purposely bought a corset style lace back dress so if I needed a little extra room it was there.
Despite my best efforts my body went the other way and I gained. I’m still in the size of my dress but there’s not the flowing look or extra space I was hoping for.
It’s my fault and accept responsibility for my weight and size. That being said, outside of staving myself for the next 45 days, getting more sick, and more stressed out. There’s not much I can do. I’m not going to drop 100 pounds in a healthy way before the wedding.
So my mom and I both try on our dresses and the first thing out of my aunts mouth was “looks like y’all need to stop eating”.
I was mortified not for myself but for my mom. She doesn’t deserve that. She’s been going to the gym daily, working out at the senior center, and has always been a healthy eater. Me, on the other hand, she’s just saying what I’ve been thinking about myself. I already feel like a big fat bride and failure.
It took everything in me to not make a scene, not start crying, and not call my fiancé to come get me.
I just wish this wedding can be over since it’s bringing out the worst of people. I mean seriously who says that and acts like it’s completely normal. Even if you don’t like the dress or the cut just say nothing if the first comment you’re going to say falls just shy of calling me fat in my wedding dress.
Post # 2
No one is meaner to fat people than other fat people. Clearly your aunt has some issues regarding her own weight, and she must be an unhappy person if she has to make other people feel bad about their weight.
Use her negative energy as positive energy for yourself. You have plenty of time to lose enough weight for your dress to fit. Cut out carbs, take more walks, only drink water, and stay active and healthy. You’ll feel and look better for all your efforts. And then on your wedding day, you can thank your aunt for the motivation and suggest she do the same.
Post # 3
gemchick82: Ummmm…who is she kidding? If I read your post correctly, your aunt is bigger than your mom? WHAT A BITCH! Let me ask you – does she have all boys or are you the first one to get married? Just wondering b/c my aunt always made snide comments to and about me growing up b/c I was everyone’s favorite. I was the baby, I was always excelling at things growing up, the only one to go to college on that side of the family and by no fault of my own, she had a real chip on her shoulder towards me my whole life.
I’m sorry she had to ruin that day for you!! Ugh…do yourself a favor and don’t bring her next time!!
Post # 4
She doesn’t have any kids – health issues. I’m the last of my moms kids to be married. And I’m the last of her goddaughters to be married too.
Trying to see the best in people, I’m sure she didn’t even realize what she was saying since she’s always been a bigger person. And I’m certain people have made comments like that to her. That being said, she should have known it was inappropriate to say.
Post # 5
gemchick82: That was mean and rude of her and I would have said it to her right there and then… I’m also plus sized and struggling with weight loss and everytime someone says something about my weight that is unsolicited and unnecessary I usually shoot back with a nasty reply. Its not like we dont know this already… We have to look at ourselves everyday. Dont feel bad because someone has no tack or a filter for their mouth.
On another note, you are not a failure! Some things are just harder for some than others. I have tried damn near everything, including going to a trainer and the results I see sometimes are minimal. It takes a lot of time and dedication but you can do it! Sometimes we just need someone to do it with us or encourage us and when we hear comments like the one from your aunt we often get dispondent. Keep you chin up! and dont listen to her. Im sure you can lose 10 lbs by your wedding with no problem. You just need someone to encourage you… Im here if you need me!
Post # 6
First, I think 45 days is plenty of time to healthfully lose 15 pounds. That should make the dress fit more comfortably. Just watch your carbs and walk every day and drink lots of water. 🙂 Cut any alcohol and soda (even diet is the devil and the enemy of weight loss if you ask me…which you didn’t)….
Second, your aunt was being mean. What she said was inappropriate. I hope you can ignore her and move on.
Thrid, you are what you are, and your FI loves you, despite any flaws. I have decided I don’t have to look perfect on my wedding day. I’ll try to look my best, but I am not Heidi Klum. I am me, and I am not a super model. My FI loves me and thinks I am beautiful, flaws and all. So, I guess what I am saying is try not to stress and try to let the happiness of the day be the most important thing you wear!
Post # 7
So sorry she said such a hurtful comment to you. I think all shapes and sizes are beautiful even if our world tends to work against that.
Maybe you can post pictures for us and we can shower you with love and tell you how beautiful you look! I am sure you look amazing! And you will look even more amazing on your wedding day when you are feeling bridal! 🙂
Post # 8
What a bitchy thing to say! I also managed to gain weight during the wedding planning process, so I’ve been there. But, honestly, there are so many more important things to worry about on your wedding day, I’d try not to worry about your weight. You’ll look beautiful and have so much fun. It goes by so quickly I don’t think I looked in a mirror for more than about 20 seconds on my wedding day – there was too much else to do!
Post # 9
nawella: not the best pictures but ones I could easily crop without using a computer. We decided to add straps so I felt more secure in the dress.
Post # 10
gemchick82: Wow you look gorgeous 🙂 I love the unique details on the dress and I think it looks very flattering on you!!!!
Post # 11
Thats a very flattering and pretty dress! Ignore that silly aunt! Although I think you look great it in right now, honestly, listen to PP and focus on eating really clean and green and eating less for the next 45 days. Nothing drastic, but really, I think regardless of whether you actually lose anything, you will FEEL so much better on your wedding day if you know you tried your hardest. I know that I feel much better when I’m debloated and eating healthily even if I weigh the same as always. You will be beautiful no matter what, don’t worry!!!
Post # 12
“You first, Aunt Berta.” or “Looks like you need to stop talking.” or both 🙂
Post # 13
Thanks ladies. I decided to accentuate my curves rather than hiding them. A lot of the dresses I saw at the big name stores made me feel like a marshmellow wearing a sheet.
Post # 14
gemchick82: I wasn’t going to bother to comment until I saw your photos. You look so great that it got my lazy ass to log in so I could tell you so! That’s a wonderful dress, it flatters you tremendously, you look curvy and gorgeous, and your aunt sounds like a miserable joykilling shrew. Ignore her. Rock your beautiful self, and know that you’re going to make your FI’s jaw drop in that gown!!
Post # 15
gemchick82: you are so beautiful! I will never understand how people can be so nasty. it’s your day don’t let her ruin it.