- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
Hi all. First post here. This website has been a huge help, however, from even before we got engaged (May 2012).
Wedding date in 37 days. Mad stress here, lots of family drama, and to boot- I received my wedding band today and I hate it. Sorry to sound ungrateful, I used to believe that there was really no ugly diamond ring… but I really hate both my engagement ring and my wedding band, both of which I did not pick out, and didn’t get to even try on or see until after he’d purchased it. To be honest, his mother kind of picked them out… they look exactly like mini versions of hers, which means they are totally 80s…. ugh.
The thing is, I had picked out a ring several years ago and that is the ONLY ring I’ve ever shown him that I like, and still he chose to go his own way and pick something his mother likes. Did I mention he’s kind of (by kind of I mean definitely) a momma’s boy?? Sorry, here goes the venting…
I’m starting to really worry about the wedding, whether things are going to go smoothly. The concept seems great- he was my best friend for 10 years before we started dating, and I’m sure all of our friends think we have a perfect relationship. It definitely seems like that on paper at least, and sometimes it truly IS amazing! And I”m sure it’s normal but sometimes it’s the PITS. And it seems like in the last month we have been fighting way more than ever. Not just little spats, but knock down, drag em out FIGHTS….. BAD.
On top of that, we had a bachelor/bachelorette party last weekend and his brother (also the best man) got so wasted that he ended up acting so outlandish that I thought he was going to get arrested… and without me even saying a word, he somehow got the hint from my facial expressions (I can’t hide that, no matter what…..) that I dissaproved. Really, I was just super embarrased and wanted to cry based upon his brother’s INSANE behavior. So he decided to ramp it up further and got so enraged that it took 4 of our friends to hold him back… I promptly left the scene (to go have a fight with the fiance) but heard that he was screaming (pardon french here, and u can use your imagination) “F her! F her, it’s all about her!” and my friends were like, um yea, it IS all about her!~! what a mess. The thing is, I’ve seen him blow up like this once before a few years ago, and it occurred to me then that he obv has mental issues but now that the wedding is amonth away, i’m starting to freak out. What if he decides it’s “all about me” on my wedding day (which, sorry, it IS.) I should mention that this happened 6 days ago and I have still yet to receive an apology or even hear from his bro… I’m trying to get over it but I”m losing respect by the day. what a WIMP!! How do you go to someone’s party and then yell at their friends that it’s “all about” the person whose party it is?! UGH.
So now, the wedding band came in and honestly it looks terrible with the e-ring, which i also dont really like but have gotten used to. I have brought up the fact that I have only shown him ONE ring EVER that I liked and that it’s kind of a LOT to ask a woman to wear something for her entire life but not let her look at it until after you drop a ton of money on it… we’re going shopping for his band this weekend, and obv he’s going to be able to pick it out! why shouldn’t I be able to pick MINE out?!
Am I just freaking out bc the wedding is so close? Is all the fighting + crazy bro + terrible wedding band all adding up to some major red flags I should be walking away from? Or am I just PMSing and stressed out about a bajillion things?! Please help talk me off of this ledge…. (not literally, figuratively, lol)
PS, woke up with the first zit in AGES, not just a tiny blemish but it has it’s own zip code i swear!!! I am obv majorly stressed, about other stuf too even (my mom decided to start some petty drama last night which involves his mom “not inviting her” to the shower except she WAS invited; (our parents are on opposite coasts)… to which, the Fiance responded “was MY mom invitred to the shower YOUR mom threw?” (the answer is yes, of course, they each invited each other…. UGH!!!) but apparently they have decided to add to my already stressful mindset by acting like 6 year olds. Mostly my mom, but if his mom was bent out of shape the same way, that is just plain ANNOYING i’m sorry ( the shower my fam did was 3 ms ago, UM way to harbor resentment if this is actually true).. I was already stressed out about this (had talked to my mom and his mom for 2 hours already by the time he came home) and he then had to add fuel to the fire by saying his mom was only treating my mom the way she was treated. HONESTLY!!!
PLEASE someone help. I am freaking out.