(Closed) Finally became a NewBee! And a question…

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think that’s too harsh. I think saying that you’d like to take a few days to spend together as a newly married couple but will be excited to celebrate with them when you get back is fine. Good luck!

Post # 4
1224 posts
Bumble bee

@bmrhodes:  I agree with the PP. Maybe ya’ll can come to a compromise? What if she offered to pay for half or all of it? Or maybe do a dinner? Do you live near the mountains, or is this a bit of a distance for your guests? The only reason I’m not saying to just do what you want is because if I had to drive for a wedding, I’d like to be able to stay a little longer than just the ceremony. If you haven’t booked anything yet, maybe have it earlier in the day so the reception would be over in time for everyone to go home and you won’t have to worry about your parents staying in the same place? Or maybe they could book a room somewhere that isn’t your honeymoon location? I’m sure a compromise can be found, but if you really just don’t want a reception there then don’t have one!

Post # 5
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

i don’t really understand what’s going on…

But I had to attend a destination wedding (Maui) last year for a family member ‘s DH’s.  They arrived the day before the wedding, and throughout her planning she made it clear that they were leaving directly from the wedding to an undisclosed location and not speaking to anybody, and were planning the reception when they got home.  Not to be harsh, but I pretty much thought this was the most pointless thing in the world.  It cost us $5000 to get to the location/accommodations.  I really felt like if she really just wanted the backdrop, she should have had a small ceremony at home and packed her wedding dress for their own private photoshoot at the destination or eloped if she didn’t actually want to spend any time with her guests.

The followup reception was kind of an extra kick at the guests that actually made the effort to get themselves to the real wedding location, that made it seem even more unnecessary.

If you mountains are relatively local, then disregard, but just a guest perspective.

Post # 6
46256 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Will any of your guests be travelling to your wedding?

This would mean they would have to travel twice with twice the expense.

Is there a reason that you and Fiance don’t want to have the reception immediately following the ceremony? Is it that you want the special mood of the ceremony to extend immediately to the honeymoon without the party intervening?

I do agree with you that I wouldn’t want Future Mother-In-Law planning a reception for the same location as your honeymoon.

Is there room for compromise? Could you and Fiance leave after the ceremony for just one night on your own  (somewhere nearby) then return the next day for a reception -perhaps brunch -so your guests can return home at a decent hour?

Post # 7
1508 posts
Bumble bee

We attended a destination wedding in Mexico this year, and I think the way they handled it was really great. Everyone arrived on the Sunday…the wedding was on the Thursday and they had the ceremony and reception like “normal”. The following Sunday (one week after arrival) we flew home. A few people extended their trip and to avoid having to honeymoon with your family-they just swtiched resorts. so on the last Sunday when most were going home, they left to a more private couples resort for an extra week. Perfect!

Post # 9
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Here’s the thing.  The reception is a thank you to the guests for attending the ceremony, so you need to do SOMETHING immediately following.  Why not have cake and punch/champagne or just a light lunch afterward?  At that time of day people will expect lunch anyway.  I would skip the rehearsal and dinner (rehearsals are almost always unnecessary) and host lunch after the wedding instead.  That would also save you from having to host everyone the night before.

And frankly I think your Mother-In-Law is insane for wanting to do a recepton at your honeymoon location, especially if it’s 2 more hours away!

Post # 10
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@bmrhodes:  I don’t think that’s harsh. I’d say something like as newlyweds, we want time to be alone. I don’t understand why she would ultimately want three receptions. Or am I getting it confused? One in the mountains, one the day after the wedding 2 hours away, then one in your hometown?

Post # 11
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with @oneofthesethings:. I think you should do something for the guests. It would be very odd for the immediate families to travel to the ceremony, then the couple leaves, and everyone is just left there. I guess if you are really set on leaving immediately from the reception, your Future Mother-In-Law could plan a small reception/after ceremony lunch for everyone who did attend. You won’t be there so it won’t matter what she plans, right?

Post # 13
1224 posts
Bumble bee

@bmrhodes:  Maybe you could talk her into paying for a small reception in the same area as the wedding? And then you and your Fiance could run off to your honeymoon.

Post # 14
1224 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry! Just saw your update!

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