- Mrs. Harmony
- 6 years ago
Well, the diarrhea hit the fan with future in-laws!
First of all, we are not engaged yet. SO is going through chemo and wants to have all his hair grown in before he proposes . So even though I call them my future in-laws, we are not technically engaged yet. It’s a matter of re-setting a stone from my Grandma and we are not bothering with a wedding. So engagement and marriage will probably be close together time wise.
SO wrote a letter to his parents last week, telling them that he is choosing to be with me forever, etc. He said that if they don’t apologize to me for their awful treatment toward me and my 5 year old son, he will not allow them around our future kids and his leisure visits to them will be cut off. He won’t be spending holidays there, and if there’s a family event and my son and me are not warmly invited, none of us are coming. They dismissed the letter and said they had nothing to say about it.
Since he lives there for now, he sees them daily. He noticed his mom looking somber and he asked what was wrong. She burst into tears and said she’s so disappointed in him for choosing me and that I’m only going to hold him back by wanting marriage (?). My SO was like, ummm… has it occured to you that I’m in love with this girl and I WANT marriage with her? She said that marriage was going to ruin his life because it ruined hers. Nice.
Future Father-In-Law came downstairs and went ape sh%t on my SO for making his mom cry. He started throwing things around the room and telling SO that he was throwing his life in the crapper, and that I’m just a weird person, I talk strange (apparently they hate that I have a “big vocabulary”) and I don’t eat meat. These people met me one time and decided all this. Our second meeting was for my BF’s surgery 6 months later. I have been nothing but pleasant to him since day one. I even sent both of them a card for their respective birthdays (before finding out they despised me). They said I was overly nice and they don’t trust people that are “that” happy. They also said I was creepy and strange. Seriously? I am a massage therapist with a full practice and I am very well known in the community. I work on naked people for a living and I have never had a complaint about my creepiness. Oh well.
SO asked them if they were choosing to accept me or not. They said no. SO said he will have to follow through on what he wrote in the letter and they said “that’s your choice, not ours”. Manipulation. SO was pissed so he came to my place. He hates that he is too sick to pack up his things and move in with me. We are counting the days until his chemo is done so he can come live here. He’s miserable there and they just suck. He lost a testicle, has 3 rounds of chemo ahead and they treat him like this. SO never expected this from his mom. They were always really close. He’s heartbroken.
I personally gave up on the idea of them ever liking me. SO’s just so disappointed in them for not supporting him, when he is so happy with me. He wants his parents to be happy for him. We rarely fight, unless it’s about his parents. I feel bad for him because I have 2 awesome parents. I am open to rebuilding the bridge with FIL’s should they come around but I’m not counting on it.
So there’s my update for those who wanted to know 🙂 Thanks bees for being so warm and supportive! I’ve come a long way since Thanksgiving when I first found out that they disliked me. I feel a sense of relief that my son and I will not be involved with this messed up family. My son has tons of people around him that adore him and I will not allow anything less.
Final thought: If FIL’s sit back and watch me support their son through cancer and infertility and STILL don’t like me, it’s a lost ass cause. Nothing I do will ever be enough for them. It’s unfortunate that they are willing to lose their son and grandchildren over this, but some people are just messed up 🙁