Finally I get to consider myself officially 'waiting'!

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

@Justbrynne:  wow how exciting!!! Now the waiting game begins!

Post # 4
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

yay! That’s great! I’m happy for you 🙂 Perhaps being away made him realize how much you meant to him! Not saying that he didn’t know before but it can just re-enforce that he just doesn’t want to live without you in his life 🙂

Post # 5
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

CONGRATULATIONS !!

Ok, here is my best advice for the early days phase…

Let him know you are really really happy that he missed you (so sweet)

Let him know you feel the same about him as he does about you (so he realizes he isn’t putting his feelings out there to have them ignored… takes a lot for a guy to say these things)

And then… start talking about the future

Have you guys shared your LIFE PLANS ?

Do you have a timeline for the future ?

Need to do that, so you both are on the same page… and you don’t end up disappointed that he’s talking 5 or 10 years from now… not 1, 2 or 3

Then you need to realize that altho an ERing is typically “guy territory”…

In so much as we get to plan ALL the Wedding, they dream of planning the Proposal / Ring / Engagement their whole lives

Let him have that moment… BUT don’t do it entirely alone

Tell him you want to make sure he gets the best deal possible (tell him that the Jewellery Biz is uber-competitive, works on commission, and likes to prey on men in love looking for a ring)

So you guys need to work on this as your first Pre-Wedding Project… do research & reading together on Jewellery

Particularily so if you are going to have a Diamond.. so much to know about Diamonds…

4 Cs – CARAT (Size) – CUT (Shape & QUALITY) – COLOUR – CLARITY

as well as CERTIFICATION – CONFLICT FREE / CANADIAN

and the Ss – STYLE – SETTING

Not to mention… 2 more Cs… COMFORT – and COST

And then there is APPRAISAL – and INSURANCE to also consider

2 Sets of Eyes, and 2 Brains… are better than one in this exercise of learning all you can, and weighing all the variables until you find a Ring that works for the BOTH of you.

An ERing afterall does represent BOTH of you in so many ways.

And… My advice to you.

Go Ring Browsing… go try on rings. You can do this without him (GFs)… or with him.  Try on lots of different styles, shapes, settings etc.

Everyone’s Fingers / Hands are different.  What you see in a Photo isn’t necessarily gonna suit you

It is like buying a piece of clothing… not every girl can wear the same pair of jeans.  Just cannot be done.  You gotta go try em on. 

This is a major purchase… not something to be taken lightly… you will need to LOVE & CHERISH this ring more than any other.  You will wear it for a long long time

(Seriously, I wouldn’t buy a top just off the internet / rack sight unseen if it meant wearing it every.single.day the rest of my life)

After that stage…

Then HE can make a decision… either he’ll shop alone (get the sales person to write down the specs / numbers from the rings you like so he can find it again, or you can show it to him on-line) … or you guys can go together.

But this is all stuff you need to talk about.

For some couples the Engagement is when he asks (as that is technically all a man need do)… for others the clock starts when they put the ring on the finger…

That part is up to you guys… (well more him) on how the Proposal / Engagement will all come together.

Enjoy the ride… it is a sweet one… this being soooo over the moon in Love.

 

Post # 6
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@Justbrynne:  Welcome to the bee!!

It IS exciting to be officially ‘waiting’ and realizing that your dreams may be about to come true. 

We are here for you!  I’m a waiting bee too Cool

Post # 8
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@Justbrynne:  I’ll say this about bringing up the ring and type that you want.  I DO agree with a lot of what TTR says, and love the way information is presented based on experience.

I’m going to present a different opinion-my SO and I are talking marriage, he’s been texting my dad, his mom made jokes that we were ‘next’ in the family to get married.

I’ve been dropping hints about what kind of ring I would want.  My SO didn’t get upset or angry but gently laid down the law as in:

1)  He felt it is in poor taste to put he 4c’s, the 2’s, and all of the research and stress on me.  (Which I didn’t know ANYTHING about really until he pointed it out, so I guess it’s good that he knows about it haha!)   He feels like it’s a bit of a ‘cop out’ on the guy to push this task off on the woman.

2)  The ring shopping should be on the guy as well and only after he has obtained permission from his future wife’s father to do so.

So I will look at ring porn and use the ‘law of attraction’ hahaha and see if this helps.  But, there are some men who are traditional and I can tell that this is an important process for my SO, and it could be the same for yours, and if so, let him be the man about it and give you what you want. 

I did raise my concern ‘This is supposed to be the right I wear for life, what if I don’t like it’.  Then he said I should be open with him so that he could return/exchange it, or even get an upgrade later, and then asked me to answer honestly if I’ve not liked the many necklaces/bracelets/earrings that he’s given me and honestly I love them all.  He has great taste.

I just wanted to let you know this because you will see a lot of waiting posts about couples who ring shop together, and that’s just not for everyone.

Congrats again and welcome to the waiting bee section!  Lots of fun things to read about on this blog!!

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