Post # 1
“So (insert husbands name) finally made an honest woman out of you?”
Ugh that idiom just makes my skin crawl and then enrages me.
I was and am an honest woman before I met him. So what we didn’t follow the order or path you would have liked. Why can older men just say “congrats” like normal nonchauvanistic men?
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Me too! I haven’t had anyone say it to me, but I’ve heard people say it to others. I think my response would just be a flabbergasted “What???”
Post # 3
gemchick82: ew! I would just make it extremely awkward and pretend I had no idea what they meant. “Gosh, I was under the impression that I was an honest woman long before I met him…” and watch them fumble around trying to explain what they meant.
A poker face and a “But whatever do you mean?” is just punishment for jerks because then they have to own up to being a jerk.
Post # 4
What a gross, rude, sexist thing to say. It’s probably not intentional, but there are sooo many other ways to say congratulations. Ugh.
Post # 5
gemchick82: oh man I HATE this phrase! So…The man is inherently “honest” but the woman is not until the man unilaterally decides to make her so? I’ve only been told this once, thank goodness. I smiled politely but put a confused look on my face and acted like I had no idea what he was talking about, saying, “What? I’ve always been honest?” If I can’t make someone realize how offense that statement is without sounding combative, at least I can imply they are saying something so outdated I’ve never heard the phrase while remaining polite. Sigh.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
gemchick82: So annoying. I (very happily) lived with my now-husband for a LONG time before we got engaged / married.
On the rare occasion that someone ever said something like that to me, I’d just sigh and be like “I know, bummer huh, I really like living in sin….”
Post # 7
If anyone ever said that to me, I’d say “That makes NO sense” and after giving them a “that was the dumbest sh*t I’ve ever heard” stare I’d turn around and walk away before they even had a chance to respond.
I have zero tolerance for stupidity and equally stupid remarks!
Post # 8
gemchick82: I have only had one person say this to me and I replied with, “Naw, I’m still shady as f$@#” so I could watch his face drop lol.
Post # 9
Yikes, I’ve never had anyone say this to me, but I think if I were quick enough on my feet (I never am) I’d say, “No, I made an honest man out of him!”
Post # 10
While I think the phrase is stupid, I also realize that the people who use it are too dense to understand what it means, so I brush it off. Usually with something like, “What century are we in!?”
Post # 11
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
gemchick82: I have heard women say this too, so not necessarily a sexist thing to say.
Eh, I guess because it is a saying you expect from older people, a different generation. It is just a saying, not that big of a deal to me, but I could see where some might be offended.
ETA: Maybe a regional thing too. More conservative area, where you should not live together before marriage, then they would think it was acceptable after marriage.
Either way I am with you, my parents are the ones who tought me to value honesty. It has nothing to do with getting married. I am sure someone will say it to me once we are married though.
Post # 12
- Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club
Haven’t had this one in-person, but I’d be tempted to say something about, “If I was really going to be an ‘HONEST WOMAN’, I’d tell you how truly ugly that statment is!” or “Well, now that I’ll be an ‘HONEST WOMAN’, I guess I can start telling rude a$$hats what I actually think of them- should I start with you?”
I have heard ugly cousins of this since we live together already… “you’re shacking up”, “living in sin”, “playing house”. I usually just smile and say, “Yup, living in sin and loving every minute of it!”
Post # 13
I’ve never heard that expression before. I’m not religious so it doesn’t really apply! I would certainly have something equally kind to say back.
Post # 14
I’ve usually heard this applied to men: “So Jane decided to make an honest man out of you!”
I’ve only very seldom heard it applied to women.
I don’t think it is supposed to be sexist. It’s supposed to be a piece of slightly risque banter between friends…
Post # 15
Wow, that is so rude. I’d be PO’d if anyone said that to me.
On second thought, I’d probably have to go with housebee:‘s response. LOVE IT! HAHAHA.