Post # 1
After a month of missing phone calls, me not being able to catch him in his office, nice but not very helpful receptionists, and an array of voicemail tag, my priest called back just now and I explained to him that my fiance and I would like to set down a date but it will be about a month before we can both meet with him together since FH lives out of state! I was worried because the policy is that they’ll set a date after meeting with the couple, but the priest checked the date we wanted (luckily it’s still open) and I’m meeting with him by myself tomorrow. Hopefully, he’ll tell me that it’s all right and reserve the date for us (he’s a really chill priest and started his last homily by talking about Charlie Brown and college football) and then we can set up a time for FH to come up next month and talk to the priest with me. … I’m just ready to get the date down!!!!!!!! Then I can finally start booking all of the vendors that i’ve been telling to wait… weeee!!! anyone ever go solo talking to the priest about your wedding?
Post # 3
We met with his rabbi together and my Dad is our minister (interfaith wedding) so I can say yes, I have met with my dad many times without my FH. lol But he has met with the rabbi by himself once because I had to work. It’s not unheard of and as longas you both meet with him together at some point then it shouldn’t be a problem.
Post # 4
I tried but they don’t like it. My parish has been extremely difficult to the point where I have a counseling session this Saturday with a different priest. This is our second marriage but we were never married in a church. It’s not the paperwork that bothers me (FH paperswork will only take 2-3 weeks). It’s that we were told our date was fine but when I wanted to pay them, they told me I had to wait for the papers to come back. Huh?
Did they “pencil” you in? That irritated me too. Our priest said, well things change all the time and in case you change your minds, it won’t mess up the book. Double- huh?
Post # 5
@RobynB: Do you need an annulment? If that’s the case, they don’t like to set anything in stone because there’s always a chance that the tribunal doesn’t grant the annulment or the investigation into the previous marriage takes too long and you miss your intended wedding date.
If you were Catholic at the time of the wedding and not married in a Catholic church, then that’s a pretty easy and straight forward annulment. But still, priests are not allowed to “assume” an annulment and formally schedule the next wedding until the decree of nullity is made. They can only really block the date on the calendar.
Post # 6
just an update, I talked to the priest today and he was fine with setting our date. He asked me simple questions about FH and I (names, ages, address, religion (his), and whether there has been a previous marriage for either of us). we talked about possible FOCCUS and engagement retreat options (since FH and I are long distance) and he did say that he possibly may not be the officiant because he is officiating a friend’s daughter’s wedding that same day at a different church. So, if there’s a time conflict and he can’t make it, it’ll be either another associate priest or a deacon, which while not the #1 choice, is still perfectly fine. I’m pretty happy with our meeting and he was glad that we’re starting early since our future meetings will take more planning than usual due to having to arrange flights and whatnot.
@RobynB: I think I remember from previous posts about your problems trying to get a date set vs “penciling you in” – I hope that it’s settled now and they don’t try to move it on you!
Post # 7
We’re getting married in Iowa where I was born and raised, but we’red doing our marriage prep work here in Denver where we are both currently living. I must admit I’ve been working weekends and not really attending church here like I did back home. I contacted the closest Catholic Church to me and after 3months… yeah that’s right 3months of playing phone tag and leaving messages the Deacon got back to me and said… You don’t actually belong to our parish, so you need to go to this other church. Are you kidding me? I’m so glad I started the prosses a year before the big day. I contacted the other church with apprehension of having a similar experience. Turns out this church was organized, speedy in returning their calls, and accepting of our situation. We’ve met with the Deacon, started the paper work, filed out the relationship assesment, and started our classes. We should be done with classes just before Christmas of this year. Whew! It really feels good to get the ball rolling. Glad you finally got your ball rolling too. I’m sure it’s a big relief. Best of luck to you on your journey.
Post # 8
@erinkatie83: I’m glad to hear that it worked out. What the deacon probably meant was that each parish has a geographical boundary. If you are not registered in another parish, you are technically a member of the parish in whose geographical boundry you fall and should do all sacrament prep there. The deacon probably just looked up your geographical parish and directed you to them.
Your geographical parish isn’t always the closest church – think about it like a state. You don’t always live in the state with the closest capital to your house.