- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2008
You know how your parents and others reminisce about their early days when they were young and so in love (newly) but had nothing? I felt for a while that Fiance and I didn’t really know that. Out of college, we both got really good jobs, but both were contracting postiions that we new wouldn’t be permanent. But, while we were in those jobs we enjoyed a very lucrative income and the ability to basically do what we wanted (including travel to Paris) and have no debt (with the exception of FI’s student loans). Well, contracts ended and Fiance had to make a smart move to a hospital technician job (looks way better for medical school applications) and I ended up at the same hospital in a more managerial department. It’s been a really hard adjustment going from making what I was making to now…I had totally gotten used to that lifestyle of doing and buying what I wanted and not having any debt. I was very fortunate to have an upper middle class upbrigning and honestly, never really knew any struggles or wants or going without. But I feel like it’s building character, having to sacrafice somethings for other things, and having to say “no, we can’t” because we simply don’t have the money to do something some weeks.
It’s a state hospital. We don’t get paid well–we’re state employees. We make ends meet, but I am longing for those days when we made good money and there was plenty left over after bills were paid. Now, we get paid, pay our bills and afterwards we’re kinda looking at each other going “okay, not really doing anything for the next two weeks”. We’re not in a terrible position, but we are learning what it feels like to live paycheck to paycheck, and to eat popcorn and PB sandwhiches for dinner. Last night I realized, we’re finally living those “we have no money but damn, are we happy” days. Not having enough to do or get things we want is toough…especially when we have gifts for wedding party to buy. It’s stressful when you have to strategically purchase things over the course of a couple months in order to spread the cost out.
I have really, REALLY stressed days about money. Othertimes I know we’re happy, we love each other, we have our needs met–and then some–we have money to pay our bills and put gas in our cars and live how we want, within reason. But it’s definitely hard to know that there’s not enough to do all that we need to (make larger payments on credit cards, student loans, etc). It stresses me out to think that we won’t be in a super awesome position when Fiance starts medical school in August. We’ll be even MORE in debt and losing an income. It’s going to be a tough road, but I finally know that these are the years we’ll look back and say “remember how happy we were in our townhouse in Cary when we had no money and were about to get married and start our life?” But now, some days, it TOTALLY sucks. Our “Mr. akp0702 is finally a doctor making great money” days are not for another decade…
Just wanted to get that out there. It’s one of my stressed-out days.