Financial Crisis – help!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

your fiance needs to talk with them and tell them its not acceptable they said they would pay for the entire wedding and backing out of it 3 weeks out is rude and how in the world are you suppose to prepare for this with such a time crunch. did you and his parents talk about how much total they were gonna gift you for the wedding? there was a budget in mind right?  if nothing else ask them to pay for the wedding like a agreed upon and make it clearly known that you and fiance will pay back every penny and never take money from them again

Post # 4
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@ksquared2:  I would sit them down and ask them what’s up.  This is potentially going to cause you to call off the wedding and you wish they had told you sooner so you could have made plans without them or made plans within a budget they were comfortable with.  I wouldn’t recommend taking out a loan.  I would really recommend cancelling everything and rescheduling it when you can afford to pay for everything yourself.  It sounds like they should have given you a budget to work from and when costs went spiraling out of control, they realized they couldn’t afford it or their financial situation may have changed.

Post # 6
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@ksquared2:  Out of pure curiosity, how much HAVE they spent? Is this a case where you have spent more than you would have because they were paying for it? Do they not feel appreciated for what they’ve done already? Surely, SOMETHING had to happen other than we’re not paying anymore for this to have gone wrong, so think hard. Ask your FI if they may have had any conversations what would have upset them and maybe he didn’t think about it that hard.

Post # 8
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@DJones69:  She said they are recently separated.  They are probably arguing over their money and one or both of them isn’t happy about shelling out money for a wedding when their marriage is falling apart.  It’s unfortunate that they couldn’t keep their s#it together until after the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@ksquared2:  They’re recently separated. Could they be having their own financial issues. Divorce costs.. A LOT, especially if they were willing to pay 13k towards a wedding. It may not be wise for them to spend anymore on a wedding.

I’m going to be in the minority, but graciously accept what they HAVE done and pay off the rest. After all, it’s your party. Anything they’ve done is more than they were obligated to as traditionally, the bride’s family pays for the wedding. So yes, while it may be frustrating, be happy for the dent they did put in your budget.

Post # 10
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@DJones69:  +1

@ksquared2:  There is definitely more going on here. I don’t see them deciding *together* 3 weeks before the wedding they don’t want to support the idea of marriage. If anything, I’d expect one of them to step in and be the “hero” to spite the other. The two of them agreeing on this together in the midst of what I’m sure it an unfriendly seperation tells me something happened in their minds that they agreed to draw the line on. Have your FI dig more.

In the meantime, don’t bother begging or pleading to get the money from them. Or trying to convince them what a dick move this is…I’m sure they already know. I would personally go the bank loan route: $7k is not that much, and you can pay toward it with money you get as gifts.

Taking out a loan when you weren’t expecting to (and having to pay on it) sucks…but not nearly as much as cancelling a wedding 3 weeks out would.

Post # 11
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

get the loan- pay for your wedding- BECAUSE THEY ARE BITTER TOWARDS LOVE AND apparently their son and future daughter inlaw i would avoid them at all costs-  sounds like toxic parents

Post # 12
Member
9219 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ksquared2:  ((HUGS))  I’m so sorry this happened to you.  You need to find ways to scale back your wedding or assume the debt of a loan.  If you cancel you’ll lose the deposits, I’m sure you know the drill. 

Post # 15
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry!  Other thank having your FI talk to them (again), you may want to call your vendors and explain the situation.  Perhaps they can work out some sort of payment plan when you could pay things off after the wedding if all else fails with his parents. If you show them you want to pay and circumstances changed, maybe they’d be willing to work with you on when payments are due.

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