Financial issues causing problems in my relationship

posted 3 months ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee

Move out?

Did you move into her place, she into your place, or did you get a new place together?

If it was her place, then I guess she in theory can decide who lives there.  How was she paying for this place before you came along?  What was your long term plan here if she’s not working or contributing to the household?  If you aren’t on the lease, you aren’t obligated to live there and unless they are holding you hostage with a gun to your head, there is nothing stopping you from using your money to find yourself a more agreeable living arrangement.

If it’s your place, then the mom and sister couldn’t have moved in without your permission – so…why did you let them?  Give them a few weeks notice to find a new place and boot them out or sit them down to have a household discussion about co-habitation and come to an agreement.

If you got a new place together and are both on the lease, then you have a lot of talking and compromising to do with your fiancee including, but not limited to, compromising about household contributions or deciding who gets to stay and who goes if you aren’t able to come to a mutually agreeable living situation.

Post # 3
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

Move out.  Seriously.  You are being disrespected by all three of them. find another roommate or rent a room from someone but stop being their meal ticket.

Post # 4
Member
774 posts
Busy bee

Leave and find someone who respects you.

Post # 6
Member
6818 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Either they need to move out or you do. 

Post # 7
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Leave? 

Post # 8
Member
13891 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yea, you got more than just “financial issues”.   19 is too young for this shit, I’d be gone so fast… If she aint working, why isn’t she at least cleaning up after her own mother and sibling instead of you.

Post # 11
Member
2231 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Leave! And seriously reconsider if you want to marry someone who treats you like this 

Post # 12
Member
9230 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

ihatehercats :  lol dump her immediately and enjoy your life!!! 

Post # 13
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

You’re 19, imagine what this will be like in 10 years? Because this will be for the rest of their lives. Imagine if you have kids? Just leave now. Keep working hard and saving your hard earned money. 

Post # 14
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

You do not need this shit in your life at 19 (or any age, really). You should be enjoying life – and since they moved in it’s clearly deteriorated a bit.

Sucks you have to give her an ultimatum, but I don’t blame you! Let us know how it goes.

Post # 15
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee

You sound like someone who tries hard, but 19 is way too young to be saddled with caring for an entire family that isn’t your own and be taken advantage of.  If none of them have motivation to change the situation or help themselves or you manage the household, I don’t see what choice you have but to move.  It won’t magically fix itself and you can’t make people change.  You only get to control you and unfortunately that means you move if the situation is unbearable and they won’t compromise. 

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