Post # 1
Ok guys so here it is. Im 19 and i recently moved in with my fiance who has had her mom and sister move in shortly after i did. Im the only person in the house that has a job i pay rent i buy food i clean alot of the time. They leave a mess around the house and i mean if you arent working and living off the state at your daughters house the least you can do is clean up after yourself or am i expecting too much from these lazy bums. I never expected at 19 to be supporting an entire family. I work full time at minimum wage and take any overtime i can get at a highly physically demanding job. Sometimes i come homr after 8+ hours of busting my butt to her mom wanting me to clean. Most of the mess comes from her stupid cats i hate these damned cats. All that gets talked about in this house anywhere near considered a conversation is these stupid cats. What do i do
Post # 2
Did you move into her place, she into your place, or did you get a new place together?
If it was her place, then I guess she in theory can decide who lives there. How was she paying for this place before you came along? What was your long term plan here if she’s not working or contributing to the household? If you aren’t on the lease, you aren’t obligated to live there and unless they are holding you hostage with a gun to your head, there is nothing stopping you from using your money to find yourself a more agreeable living arrangement.
If it’s your place, then the mom and sister couldn’t have moved in without your permission – so…why did you let them? Give them a few weeks notice to find a new place and boot them out or sit them down to have a household discussion about co-habitation and come to an agreement.
If you got a new place together and are both on the lease, then you have a lot of talking and compromising to do with your fiancee including, but not limited to, compromising about household contributions or deciding who gets to stay and who goes if you aren’t able to come to a mutually agreeable living situation.
Post # 3
Move out. Seriously. You are being disrespected by all three of them. find another roommate or rent a room from someone but stop being their meal ticket.
Post # 4
Leave and find someone who respects you.
Post # 5
annabananabee : sorry left out some details didnt i. I moved in with her before i was living here she was working. She recently got laid off as her job was seasonal and slows down alot during summer. But she isnt looking for a job. The house was spotless and we were perfectly fine before they moved in. And every time the talkabout contributing comes up bother her mom and sister complain about whatever BS chronic pain they have that no doctor has ever diagnosed them with.
Post # 6
Either they need to move out or you do.
Post # 8
Yea, you got more than just “financial issues”. 19 is too young for this shit, I’d be gone so fast… If she aint working, why isn’t she at least cleaning up after her own mother and sibling instead of you.
Post # 9
beevincent18 : well i was hoping not to hear the move out suggestion but i knew it would come up. I already gave her an ultimatum either they leave or i do
Post # 10
ihatehercats : good for you, dont blame you
Post # 11
Leave! And seriously reconsider if you want to marry someone who treats you like this
Post # 12
ihatehercats : lol dump her immediately and enjoy your life!!!
Post # 13
You’re 19, imagine what this will be like in 10 years? Because this will be for the rest of their lives. Imagine if you have kids? Just leave now. Keep working hard and saving your hard earned money.
Post # 14
You do not need this shit in your life at 19 (or any age, really). You should be enjoying life – and since they moved in it’s clearly deteriorated a bit.
Sucks you have to give her an ultimatum, but I don’t blame you! Let us know how it goes.
Post # 15
You sound like someone who tries hard, but 19 is way too young to be saddled with caring for an entire family that isn’t your own and be taken advantage of. If none of them have motivation to change the situation or help themselves or you manage the household, I don’t see what choice you have but to move. It won’t magically fix itself and you can’t make people change. You only get to control you and unfortunately that means you move if the situation is unbearable and they won’t compromise.